Jeremy Corbyn is a vegetarian. He would be. Tosser. Not that all vegetarians are tossers, but he undoubtedly is. He’d like to be a vegan but can’t ‘live without cheese’. British cheese, he stressed. Not to show his patriotism and brotherhood with British workers, but to show he is unquestionably a tosser. Vegetarian/vegan is like the difference between an agnostic and an atheist. I’d be a vegan too. If it wasn’t for my love of meat, fish, eggs, dairy and foie gras. In fact I don’t even like sushi but would eat it any day just to upset a vegan. Like raw fish, do ya? Ya nut-cruncher! I’m quite happy being a vegan after dinner. Nuts, fruit, pretzels, crisps and dairy-free (yeah, right) chocolate. Yet by the Corbyns of this world stating their claim of aspirational veganism, it puts it out there as something pure, something indeed aspirational, that we should all be like that in some kind of (probably communist) idealised world where chicken nuggets are illegal. Well I don’t want to live there.

And this division, vegetarian/vegan, is also analogous also to whether to drive a hybrid (vegetarian) or a plug-in (vegan) electric car. Sadly often coupled with an equivalent level of supercilious holier-than-thou-ness as in the food debate. As if what you drive makes you a better person. In which case I am the fucking devil personified. Though proudly so. In fact in most cases I appear to come out on some part of the ‘dark side’, hmmm…

Nissan are bringing out a bigger ‘Leaf’, their best-selling plug-in electric car. So it can go 40 miles further than the previous one, up the motorway before it runs out of charge and you call the tow truck. Now you won’t have to do that until about Sheffield, rather than Nottingham like the original. That’s progress, right?

And in fact it is. Much as I tease, electric cars are where its going, even I have to admit that. The problem becomes simple: how far can they go? Along with the massive ‘how long to charge them?’ and also ‘how much do they cost??’ Because the only company who can give you a decent range currently is Tesla. For which you pay a hefty premium. The cars are all fine for commuting but you do need those long trips ‘up north’. You do family holidays round Scotland. And to do that you’d need to spend 50 grand on a Tesla or take your Leaf and prepare the kids for really long layovers at service stations charging up.

The technology is still new. And advancing. Which is great. For my grandchildren. For their ‘cleaner world’. For me, I want to be buried next to my car. A big, hefty, gas-guzzling monster. Dinosaurs together.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx