This is it then. My last day as a ‘normal’ person. Before I become… bionic!!! A cyborg. Part flesh, part titanium, bit’a silicone, few screws and bolts, like the fucking TERMINATOR!

Though, obviously, I appreciate there may be a slight ‘lag’, a ‘period of adjustment’, from surgery, tomorrow morning, to the full ‘we have rebuilt him, AND CREATED A MONSTER!!’

And its that ‘lag’ which concerns me. They will immobilise my right arm for a couple of weeks. Strap it to my chest so I can’t play tennis. Or throw punches. Hold a fork. Or type on a keyboard. Unless I bend over until my upper chest is virtually on the keyboard. At which point my nose will be on the number 6 and my head on the screen. Yes, I can type left handed and always do. I kind of ‘use them together’, strange though that seems. Because I ‘touch type’. And without the right hand a lot will be lost in translation. So we’ll have to see how that pans out.

Tomorrow I’ll be in a drugged out stupor filled with blood and pain, normal Saturday really. Then the meds wear off and I realise that having 2 usable hands is really something I’ve taken for granted my whole life and its lack causes a void.

Op day -1.

I’m also hoping that the massive jolt the general anaesthetic will give to my entire system will dislodge the most annoying, persistent and constant ‘ear worm’ I can ever remember.

Much as I loved the Beatles, when Paul McCartney joined forces with his proto-vegan, tree-huggy wife and formed ‘Wings’, I wasn’t their greatest fan. Middle’a’the’road pop stuff, ok but nothing you’d wanna buy. Or listen to, in your own head, for 17 hours every fucking day for three weeks. But when I saw the movie Licorice Pizza, in among a fab 70s soundtrack was ‘Let me roll it’. By Wings. Though when I heard it in the movie I couldn’t have told you the name. So I went home and the next day, I went and ‘found it’ on Google. Or, THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE!!! as its now known. I found it, played it, played it again. Went back to… whatever, and its been playing ever since.

Until we meet again

A xxxx