I’ve been out of politics for some time now. Nearly 3 weeks. And if 24 hours is lifetime, this period is approaching ‘forever’. Although, alas, in many ways, nothing like long enough. I left the country specifically to give them all time to sort out Brexit, find a reason to get Farage on the plane with Julian Assange when he’s extradited and re-write a new constitution that allows the death penalty in certain very specific cases involving leaders of Opposition parties with beards. And what’s happened? Nothing! It’s the same shit. I was in Japan for 2 weeks and we had the first abdication of an Emperor for 300 years and the inauguration of a new one in just 2 days. But here, as they say in Tokyo: plus ca change, plus ca meme chose.

Which translates as ‘same shit, different day’. Because Theresa May is still trying to get the same deal, with the same terms, which everybody hated the first 3 times, through parliament again. She’s been in ‘discussions with Labour’ since before I left and both sides are still ‘deadlocked’. Mainly because as well as being diametrically opposed politically, they both moronic.

So now The Conservatives are insisting that the PM resigns. Which, although possibly offering no immediate solution to the problems, might freshen things up a bit. And as this is an assassination, rather than a ‘falling on her sword’, the first to jump in, like Brutus, with a dagger in his hand specifically designed for back-stabbing, is Boris Johnson. Obviously. The country’s greatest ‘bandwagon jumper’, who sees benefit in having fat blondes in charge of both sides of the Atlantic, can’t resist any chance of self-advancement. So was the first ‘name in the hat’.

And I really don’t like Boris. And trust him even less. But when I look at the others gathering round to join the battle to become leader of the Conservatives and thus, by default, the temporary at least Prime Minister, my first and really only consideration is who is most likely to keep Jeremy Corbyn out of number 10? And that trumps all else.

Furthermore, with the massively populist ‘Brexit Party’ of Farage steaming instantly ahead of all other parties in the polls, the Conservative vote will be more diluted still.

I’m not even a natural, comfortable Tory but quite literally THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE.

And I cannot see voters falling over themselves to vote for Jeremy (fucking) Hunt, nor Sajid Javid, and as for Dominic Raab, I could barely pick him out of a line up of 3 people if the other two were women. Matthew Hancock? Who he??

So I’m left with the horrendous acceptance that for the good of the nation (ie: no fucking Corbyn), for the good of the only party fit to lead it, and for my own sanity (always questionable anyway), B…B…B… (I’m struggling to put it down) B… Boris must lead the Conservatives.

Holy shit.

Happy Friday

A xxxx