Interesting article the other day about why ‘we’ all fucking hate ‘tests have shown’ and ‘surveys’ and stuff because we can’t trust them. I can’t remember the specifics but the gist was; whoever pays for the study/survey/whatever, generally gets what they want to show/prove. Climate change was a big culprit/victim in this. And a senior scientist commented that one result showed an 85% kind of result in one direction. But as it wasn’t the direction the funders of the research had wanted so the published result showed a 60% swing the other way. After ‘rationalisation’ and ‘weighting’ and ‘easing’ and ‘allowances’. So its all for nothing.

In an unrelated matter, they’re thinking of including frozen pizzas as part of our essential ‘5-a-day’. And I’m not talking about 5 lumps of lard-ridden, heart-clogging, sugar/fat laden guaranteed killers, but our 5 ‘fresh fruit and vegetables’ a day. Because they hacked up a pizza (well you have to; you can’t eat it all in one go; I’ve tried loads of times) and found minute traces of things called ‘vitamins’ or ‘vegetable related goodness’, and so have decided to add that food to our list of ‘healthy eating’. A fucking pizza. A frozen pizza. In a ‘supersize me’ act of benevolent madness, I intend to eat 5 pizzas a day for a week and then posthumously sue the government, and Tecos, for my heart attack. If they include beer in the 5 a day, due to the hops its made from, and they must be some kind of vegetable, surely? then I’m prepared to raise my consumption to 10-a-day. To make me doubly healthy.

The only thing being really supersized are the kids whose parents would actually see a ‘healthy eating’ sticker on a packet of frozen shit and believe it.

UKIP have finally made it as a proper, up-there, major political force. They already had the followers, the support, the structure, lots of councillors, several Euro MPs and even 2 in government. What they were missing was a sex scandal. To show they’d really made it into mainstream politics. So Roger Bird, the party’s general secretary, made improper suggestions (which would have been proper suggestions if she’d fancied him, but then we’d never have heard about it) to a young woman as he ‘interviewed’ her to be a candidate. The woman, Natasha Bolton, a defector from Labour because of ‘misogyny, sexism and tokenism’, joined UKIP. Which is a bit like the Chief Rabbi joining Al Quaeda to get away from religious intolerance. And Natasha found, believe it or not, the same shit at UKIP but with racism thrown in as an added benefit. Quel surprise.

All UKIP now need a few pedophiles and we’ll all start taking them seriously.

Happy slightly cynical tuesday

A xxxx