Ok, so you arrive in Inverness, or near Inverness, and you have, basically, one afternoon to play. And Inverness, the ‘capital of the Highlands’ that it unquestionably is, with no competition whatsoever as its a city, its big, has lots of traffic and people and buildings, and everywhere else up here is a tiny village with 3 houses, 4 churches (they love a church) and a cafe (closed). So the firs thing that strikes you is that you are suddenly, for the first time in a week, on a dual carriageway. Holy Shittttt! Two lanes each side! Wow!!

But the question is: do you spend your time in that City, fine and cathedralled up and auld castled and everything, or…

Do you go to Loch Ness? Just down the road. 20 miles away. Oooooooohhhh…

Where the monster lives!!!

There was simply no competition. I’ve seen cities; hundreds of them and I love them, they’re great places. But Loch Ness is that wonderful, mythical place of eternal darkness and, of course, monsters. Or, rather, monster. Singular. Which really is the main issue here. The first ‘sighting’ recorded of a ‘hump-backed thing’ in the Loch was in AD560. So, unless THE monster is now 1500 years old, subsequent and recent ‘sightings’ make no sense. But then we spoke to George. In fact he was the geezer wot drove our boat on the Loch and told us of its tale. And he’s worked on it, and in it, for 50 years. Yes, ‘in it’, because he dives there. Although apparently you see nothing because of all the peat deposits in there, blocking out all light. Which is why it looks black. Adding to its mystique. George Edwards in fact discovered the deepest part of the 23 mile long Loch, which is now bears his name. That’s impressive. And George, as I call him, reckons that there could be animals of some type down there that exist no-where else. And why not? Evolution works with or without human observation. There’s loads of sea-life in the Pacific that has never been seen. Loch Ness is 250 metres deep. 800 feet. Deep. So some branch of evolution could well have created, like a giant eel? Or a cross between a fish and King Kong? Or between a barnacle and the Post Office Tower? Doesn’t matter, we haven’t seen it, but it/they could be there. Obviously in sufficient numbers to reproduce, albeit on a slightly ‘inbred’ manner, like a lot of Scotland. And that would account for the numerous ‘multiple sightings’ that have occurred over the years. Because Nessies strut around in gangs.

I’ve been intrigued by the Loch Ness Monster my whole life. Visiting the Loch did nothing to dispel the awe. Because its dark, and beautiful, and massive, I still hold out hope that monsters could be in there. Somewhere. (Un?)fortunately, not while I was there.

Happy Wednesday, coming home tomorrow. Shame.

A xxxx