Oh wow, congratulations and mazzletovs all round, Harry and Meg produced another sproglette. An almost royal one. Not sure about its exact status in the ‘line’ but I’m guessing: low. Just below the Duke of Kent’s butler but still higher than The Emperor of All of Rutland. And in deference to all that is lovely and memorable and super they’re naming the little girl Ghislaine. Obviously, being some kind of quasi/pseudo-royal, one name is never enough, you need at least six Kings or 8 Queen’s names in there too. Or names that resonate with the parents. So the baby’s full name is: Ghislaine Adolph Yentl Kunta-Kinte Jeffrey Epstein Glen Hoddle Rosenberg-Markle-Windsor. She’s going to be a cheer-leader and speak funny. So I wish her and the family well. Not sure where that particular ‘family’ begins or ends any longer, so I’ll leave it vague.

And I can’t tell you just how excited I am about the up-coming European Championships. So I won’t. I’ll just leave the ‘excitement’ column blank for the moment. Though I am excited about the WAGS this time round. Because I was reading just yesterday that ‘this lot are different’! Oh yes, no more ‘groupie’ types hanging round the changing rooms desperate to get pregnant by anyone earning north of £100k a week. No more peroxided bimbos with more paint on their faces than Rembrandt used on a canvas. This time they’re ‘clever’. Intelligent. Edjukayted!!! One of them (no idea which, as ever, they all look exactly the same) has a degree in clothes. Another a masters in ‘Soap Operas and other shit on the telly’, whilst a third actually has a PhD in make up and dildos from the University of the Middlesbrough Bypass. Oh yes, WAGS have come a long way from… errrrr… last time round.

Have you seen Mare of Easttown? It’s a tv series. Everyone’s raving about it. To such an extent that I almost read a ‘spoiler’ in yesterday’s Times but managed to avert my gaze just in time, screwing up the entire newspaper and burning it. Because I thought the whole point of this entire ‘on demand’ viewing was that you don’t all watch it together. That some people (no names) are slower on the uptake. Need telling 17 times just how brilliant Kate Winslet is (and she really is) and how ‘dark’ it is and how utterly, totally wonderful it is. And they’re only half way through. So don’t spoil it for them. Wait til I’ve seen the last one (there’s only 7 episodes) and then I’ll spoil it properly.

This photo was taken yesterday on the occasion of my lovely 96 year-old dad leaving his care home for the first time since August. Other than a few hospital visits. But they don’t count because there weren’t 4 generations all there to celebrate like we had in our garden.

Happy Monday

A xxxx