We’re leaving Europe. Brexit means Brexit zzzzzzzzzz…

Yet Theresa May was impressive yesterday. Despite the clown suit she chose for the most important speech Britain has heard since Churchill met them on the beaches (different bunch of Europeans), she delivered her ‘plan’ with strength and force and a genuinely ‘don’t fuck with me’ attitude. But its all up in the air. I’m sure no-one actually knows the real mechanics of the process. In part because no-one’s ever done it before (Greece nearly did but received a reprieve, or 3 billion Euros from Germany, as its known), and in part because you simply can’t unwind 50 years of laws, rules and regulations overnight. Whatever Nigel Farage reckons.

On the basis of the speech the pound increased its value significantly yesterday. Couldn’t she have made the speech before we went to India? Would it have killed her? I could have saved 752 Rupees, I reckon. Maybe 821 (about a tenner). Selfish bitch.

Nicola Sturgeon is making noises once more. Or perhaps ‘still’. As she rarely stops. And its the same message: Scotland voted ‘in’ and ‘refuses’ to leave the EU. Good for them. I didn’t want to leave either, but I appreciate what we call, south of the border, ‘democracy’. I can’t unilaterally decide to stay in Europe. No more than the borough of Richmond, (also ‘in’) can declare itself an independent Euro-affiliated Island within an Island. ‘We’ voted out. The majority. That’s the way it works. The resultant minority has to put up with it. Or move away.

You can’t move Scotland. I’ve tried. It won’t budge. But little Nic is threatening once again to ‘devolve’. As if that’s such a massive threat that Britain will simply unwind the whole referendum thing and collectively go and have a group hug with Merkel and Hollande and Junkers again.

If Scotland did vote to ‘leave Britain’, itself a really unlikely outcome, it would have to apply as do all nations for acceptance into the European Union. It wouldn’t just ‘stay in’ by default. It would need, as all countries do, to show qualification on a myriad of criteria, most of which it wouldn’t make the grade. On grounds of its football league alone it would struggle. Once you factor in independent economy and dangerous foodstuffs, the French wouldn’t wanna know. Let alone the weinerish Germans.

But last time Scotland remained British by the skin of its haggis. If there is a next time, and she is threatening more so daily, the move to stay British, one feels, will be much stronger. If not, that could be interesting.

Meanwhile, they’re going to be paying us to drive BMWs, coming over to remove unwanted immigrants and sending teams of otherwise useless Euro-MPs to pick our fruit in the summer. Its all brilliant.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx