Whilst over here Ed Miliband is wondering whether he’s got the bus fare to take him to Rochester to make a speech (which no-one is fucking interested in fucking hearing!!!!!), or whether Ed Balls will lend him a tenner til Tuesday, over in America they’re also getting ready for an election next year. For which Hilary Clinton, being a Democrat and thus ‘voice of the populus’ and ‘grounded in reality’, reckons to win the presidency she can get by with a paltry $2.5 billion. What a frikkin’ bargain. Would it be cheaper if they chose a good lookin’ bird? I just wondered, in a fit of Neanderthalism very much out of character with the New Man that I really am, honest.

A woman president? Can you imagine such a thing?? They’ll want a non-white there next. Oh, right… ok.

Women are big in politics. I don’t mean ‘look big’, heaven forbid. I mean ‘important’. Because they now reckon that in London, all the marginals will pretty much (or ugly much, depending on the women) be decided by the female voters. Men are apparently less flexible whereas women, as we all know, change their minds about everything, on average, once every 9.3 seconds. Average. So the swings will be decided on the day, by our women, depending on issues like which candidate looks more buff; how easy it was to get a parking space outside the polling station; whether a child kept her awake last night; what’s for dinner tonight; headaches.

When did they let women vote?

Why did they let women vote??

Oh, I remember, Suffrage, all that chaining to the gates of Westminster, right, I think I missed it because the football was on.

So women get to decide on the outcome of the election, perhaps even disproportionately, and Hilary Clinton may become America’s first woman president. Maybe. She’ll probably have to beat around the Bush. Or beat a Bush at least because Jeb Bush, brother of George Dubbaya, son of George the First, is likely to be the Republican candidate. I wonder how much he needs to make it to number 10 White House Street? I wonder if he can count that high? Unlike his brother.

I’ve written to America, all of it, and told them I can get there for just half a billion bucks, but paid in cash to my gravesite in Geneva. I better brush up on my golf.

Happy Saturday

A xxxx