I’m not going to talk about the football. Uh-huh, no way. It would be hurtful, nasty, possibly a bit spiteful and possibly even mildly offensive. To… some. I’m not going to gloat that Spurs beat Brentford because we should always beat Brentford. And the manner of the victory had ‘chaos’ stamped all over it. Yet it was a win, it produced all 3 points and we all feel really good about it, two people in particular; Dominic Solanke, breaking his duck, and Lila, for being there and undoubtedly the catalyst in ending our recent run of horrible results.

Arsenal on the other hand, if I were to speak of such things, were ‘robbed’. The ref dunnit, the sending off dunnit, everything and everyone else was responsible, conspiring to deny them of the 3 points ‘they so richly deserved’. I’m not saying that I was mildly amused at the very end of the match, that would be unkind. So I won’t.

Because my mind was already in Liverpool. At the Labour Conference. With Kier. Ange. Rache, and the gang, with all the Palestine Protesters and Hamas appreciators. But I was on a plane. No-one was worrying about US pensioners losing our fucking heating allowance!!!, being concerned about the economy, awarding massive pay rises to all public employees and trade unionists, with no debate, no argument, no negotiation, if your hands are dirty (blood counts as ‘dirt’ in this instance, hence the Doctors rise), just ask for what you like and you can have it.

Instead our concerns lay squarely on ‘clothes-gate’!! In which Kier, and Ange, both received ‘sponsorship’ for personal clothing. And for Kier, 16 grand goes a long way at Primark. Then, he also got a few more thousand for glasses. He should have come to me. It would have only paid for one pair, but they’d have been a truly ‘fuck-off’ pair of specs. Rather than the ‘Mr Invisible’ look he currently sports. And then Ange took a holiday in a freebie from a mate. In New York. So we’ve all become a bit ‘distracted’ by… not ‘sleaze’, that’s a Tory thing, this must be ‘the sleaze of Change’, or ‘New Sleaze’.

I heard a phone-in this morning by LBC’s Labour-in-chief wanker (no names, but it was James O’Brien), speaking of: ‘how do we stop the right wing press telling lies about gifts to our Esteemed new leaders?’ He’s deeply offended that these ‘trivial’ things are stopping us talking about the important stuff. And that’s because he’s a hypocritical, anti-semitic know-all. And if it was the Tories, no slur would be too small for him to dedicate entire shows to building moats on parliamentary expenses, or digging basements in second homes, or taxi fares to John O’Groats. Yet because it’s labour, it’s ‘the right wing press’ wot dunnit. He is emphatically (and always) my ‘Tosser of the Week’.

Happy Monday

A xxxx