The narrative of this ‘orrible pandemic has been one of numbers. As every day we learn of the number of ‘new cases’, of ‘deaths’, ‘hospitalisations’ and now vaccinations (not applicable in Europe). With cumulative totals added in most cases too, to compliment the rolling averages and daily snapshots. Numbers. And of course, their partner in crime: graphs!!!

So here’s today’s numbers.

New cases of depression: 76,920
Wrists slit at the final whistle: 49
Hospitalisation due to despair: 3,991
The chance of Harry Kane leaving: up 27.86%
Those who think Jose Morinho must go: THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF THE WORLD!!!!!

This has without doubt been the absolute worst week of the pandemic (so far!!!). In purely quantitative terms, Spurs have played 2, lost 2, scored 1, conceded 5. But the actual numbers ignore the context, the nuance, the emotion, the importance of those games lost. The qualitative considerations. 

Losing to Arsenal is never a good thing. For most of us it is the worst thing imaginable (second is nuclear attack on London, third is Chelsea being given a humanitarian award). It goes beyond tragedy. And yet, there are losses and there are losses. And Sunday’s was the ‘total capitulation’ variety, with the second half of the match simply awful and disgraceful, until the 87th minute when our ‘stars’ suddenly woke up to the grim and inevitable realisation and tried, in vain and too late, to make the effort which had been so sorely lacking beforehand. To no avail and thus plunging their entire fan base into the very depths of glumness. At which time the ‘numbers started to rise’. The ‘second wave’ heralded by our probable loss of a ‘4th place finish’. 

But heh, we’re all pandemic hardened, so we had four whole days to ‘just get over it!!’, just 4 days of endless memes and ‘really funny jokes’ (apparently) from every Tom, Dick and Dickless who ever wore a red shirt in anger, before we could proudly go  marching again. This time to face the Dinamos of Zagreb in the UEFA. Where we proudly took our 2 goal  lead from the first leg and said: ‘go on then, see if you can score THREEEE then, if yer ‘ard enough!!!’ Which, of course, they did. Sending those numbers into the realms of the truly astronomical. 

I’m not a silverware whore. I really don’t count trophies (don’t take much counting if I did) as the justification for my team’s existence. I want them to please the eye, first and foremost. I want to enjoy watching them. If trophies follow that, so much the better. But this week… oh my gawd, this week…

Happy (???????) Friday

A xxxx