So its all been a bit quiet on the Columbia front, you may have noticed. Because my current lurghi has meant I have two distinct and exclusive modes at the moment. I’m either travelling or sleeping. Nothing else. I go see a city, or a coffee plantation or, yesterday, a cloud forest and then, I sleep. Its all I can do. Other than eat. I can stay awake for that, but only cos its ‘medicinal’, innit. Then I go back to sleep. Or try. Ok, so I moan a bit too, but its allowed.

I wasn’t too upset to leave Bogota, although we did eat at a couple of quite amazing restaurants. The food here is pretty wonderful generally, but the portions are so humungous that once we learn that for an unquestionable fact, we’ll order one meal and ‘share’. Even though I’m not really a natural ‘sharer’, as much as a natural ‘FUCK OFF ITS MIIIIIIIINE!!!!’r. But order a steak and they give you two. Order a fish and you get two. Which sounds great, is great, but its actually too much. Apparently. So I’m told.

I know so much about coffee, its scary. I will never again go to Costa (I fucking hate Starbucks anyway) and order a ‘latte’. I want to know which grade of bean, grown in which country, at which altitude and the name of the geezer wot picked it. Because I probably met him yesterday. And don’t get me started on the roasting. I intend to become the world’s biggest coffee-bore. I’m qualified. The main problem being; I only do just want a latte.

From Bogota and the big cities, to the little towns up in the mountains of the cloud-forest, there’s a ‘Bolivar Square’. Its compulsory. And they probably have them in loads of other countries in South and Central America too. Because, it would appear, Simon Bolivar single-handedly ousted those bastard Spaniard dictators from: Columbia, Venezuela, Panama, Ecuador, Bolivia and Peru. If I’d have known that’s all you have to do to get all those squares named after you, I’d have gone to war against Spain myself. Bolivar was by birth a Venezuelan but died as a Columbian. Which is a bit like living your life as a Spurs fan but being buried in an Arsenal kit. They also name squares after dates. 23rd October Square, or 19th July Square. Any date will do because Bolivar freed some country or other on all 365, so pick your fave and name that square. Ironically Bolivar became, when president, the dictator he’d spent his whole life opposing.

This pic was after we’d walked up to the almost top of the cloud forest. Its about 2,600 metres above sea level so there’s no air, as we know it, and the 30 degrees of temperature feels like 40 because there’s so much more UV. Such is life in the ‘coffee triangle’. Where today we leave and fly off to Medellin. A place one time at the heart of Pablo Escobar’s empire. Apparently there’s less murders there now. A helluva lot less, I’m hoping.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx