So I enjoyed yesterday’s dentistry so much, I’m going back for more today. As my anniversary present. Yes, its my- sorry, ‘our’ wedding anniversary and I have another hour booked in ‘the chair’ for my own, personal Marathon Man moment. Today’s photo is the card I bought for Mel. Not because it says anything about anniversaries, nor undying love nor togetherness, nor does it have photos of brides, flowers or bottles of fucking champagne. But precisely because it doesn’t. I like ‘obscure’. But I really like funny. And clever. Otherwise Mel would have received the same card she always gets; a football card for a thirteen year-old boy.

Enough celebration. Though can you ever have enough?? Celebration and Brexit-bollocks, the two essentials of life.

I listen (God help me) to Nigel Farage on LBC sometimes. And the only people who he speaks to (its a phone-in, in case you don’t follow; and why the hell would you?) are fellow Brexiteers. So that he can congratulate them on their brilliance and share the pain that we haven’t yet left Europe. Suffice to say we are, in terms of planning, still only just about leaving New Zealand, metaphorically speaking. And charming Nige still uses the sanitised xenophobe’s credo of ‘taking control of our borders’. Theresa May says she’ll let in Euro and non-Euros if they’re doctors, nurses, essentials. Because apparently the British workforce is severely lacking and the EN-AITCH-ESSSS (blessed be its soul, if it has one) cannot be forsaken. Nigel is not happy about this. He’d rather be lying in a hospital bed with an English apprentice electrician examining his gaping wounds, than have an Eritrean doctor here.

His other bug-bear is the appeals for ‘another referendum’ on the grounds that ‘people didn’t understand’ Brexit. He laughs at this and thinks Remainers consider Brexiteers ‘thick’. Which we pretty much do. Or if not classically ‘dense’ then at least severely misguided. In every sense of ‘misguided’, because the entire nation was severely misled by both sides. And Nigel hates the fact that ‘remain’ MPs represent ‘brexit’ constituencies. But what does he want? The vote was 51% to 49% or, as common parlance would have it; half and half. So this massively ‘undemocratic’ stance by the remainers is in fact representing half the population.

We should leave Europe, because that’s how ‘we’ voted. But we don’t have to destroy the national economy for the next 2 decades just so Farage can close the borders to immigration.

Happy Friday

A xxxx