We returned from the Golan. Fabulous up there but we missed the beach. The odd thing is; we don’t even like the beach. All that fucking sand everywhere, its awful. Hot, sticky, windy places, crowded like here in Netanya, terrible. But much as we protest our dislike of being on beaches, we just love walking on them. This morning we walked about 3 miles, there and back. Though where ‘there’ was, I have no idea. Just a rock. Near a hard place. So we turned and went back. We like pools really. Mel can do her lengths, I can do my length… width if I’m not quite up to it, and its all clean and nice and you don’t end up with sand on your testicles. But walking on beaches is simply magical. Especially this beach. Completely devoid of stones, shells and seaweed, the sand is soft silk and testicle-repellant. And with the sea over your toes, it goes on forever and is half a mile wide.

And we stay with my very old mate and his fabulous wife. We can’t stand them, but its free here so you can’t be that fussy. And the WiFi’s good, gotta give ‘em that. And its free. Everything’s free here.

Unlike my ‘data roaming’ on the way up to the Golan, where the m*thuf*ckers charged me 25 quid for using Waze for about 3 hours. Therefore I just spent half an hour having a ‘chat’ (one of those annoying little typing box ‘chats’) with a nice man with a completely unpronounceable name at Id-Mobile. Took about 3 minutes (after the inevitable 20 minutes of ‘security’ clearance worthy of MI6 and other assorted bollocks, to get £20 back off the thieving bastards. Because you know if you send an SMS message it will cost you £1.50. You know calls will bankrupt you within 3.6 minutes. But you don’t know ‘data’. Its so opaque and mysterious that “£1.50 per megabyte” is simply meaningless. To me anyway. Do they measure how many megabytes Waze is sending me as it mis-directs me up the toll roads??? Or does someone else with a different unpronounceable name just say… “hmmm, Andy’s on Waze, charge the fucker 25 quid! That’ll show him”?

Anyway, we’re coming home tomorrow. So its time to go back to the beach. Even though we don’t like it at all. We’re doing it for YOU!

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx