Is there anyone in the entire fucking world, other than Rishi Sunak and Kyriakos Mitsotakis (Greek PM) who really gives a shit about the Elgin Marbles? Or the Parthenon Porcelain or the Crumbling Concrete, or whatever you choose to call them? Because I don’t. But, I really don’t. And I have seen them. You can’t miss them when you go to the British Museum. Which generally you do to see something else and just kind of stumble across these most highly contentious old lumps of stone en route to the purpose of your visit.

Lord Elgin basically went to then Ottoman controlled Greece in 1807 and knew a ‘good little earner’ when he saw a bunch of old statues and stones in the Parthenon in Athens. So rather than wait for the marauding Turks to smash them in one of their drunken rages of rape and pillage, he basically stole them. Ok, he alleged that he had permission from the Turks to ship them to England ‘to protect them’, but there’s never been proof of that. They’ve held inquiries, they’ve done loads of research but the cctv in pre-Victorian Athens was really shit. In fact it was a man called Theasophelos who sat on the street corner with a sketch book. Thus did Lord Elgin shift about 4 tons of Greek stone relics to London. Not to ‘give to England to look after’, nor to ‘be viewed by all of our people’, but to house in his private collection. Which he later sold to the government. Who probably parted with some serious wedge to get a bunch of old rubble.

And the Greeks want them back. But for some reason, Rishi is rather unnaturally attached to the marbles. To such an extent that, knowing what the discussion was to be on Monday morning, he cancelled the scheduled visit by Mr Mitsotakis for ‘coffee and cake’ at 10 Downing Street. Which, in the world of diplomatic protocols, is a slap in the face. With a wet flannel. Mr Mitsotakis had to go to Starbucks and buy his own coffee and cake and was most unhappy that he had to fork out £7.47 from the Greek national purse, and the cake was a bit dry.

The obvious action is to ‘share’ the marbles, I mean shipping them back and forth is no trouble at all, I’ll drive. But our two fine (?) nations have no trust in each other that they’d ever get them back. Creating a bit of an impasse. So Rishi bottled out of facing the Greek demanding gifts, rather than bearing them. Although Kier Starmer is happy to let them go. Does he not realise what they mean to ME!!!!

There is death in the world. There are wars. There are serious economic issues at home. There needs to be a proper debate about VAR. And its fucking freezing. So to repeat:

WHO CARES ABOUT THE ELGIN FUCKING MARBLES???

(Today’s pic is there because it is wonderful. No ‘meaning’, no ‘message’, just a polar bear. Probably the one I saved when the electric car arrived)

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx