Iss a funny ole thing, this coronavirus. It’s made me ‘preciate much more luvverly shit than wot I used ta. Cos naah the pubs ‘ave shut, I have to walk abart a bit. Somefink I’d previously avoided like the fucking plague. Ironic that, innit? Now we ‘ave a fucking plague and I’m getting all naycherred up every day. Cos its Spring, innit. And I’ve acherley started noticing stuff. Like flowers. There’s all kinds, just out there. Daffodils, tulips… errrrr… more tulips, little blue things, a bunch a white ones, and… like… flowers. I don’t know their proper Latin names cos I’m less a Roman, more Roman Road (Bow, E3). And there’s birds. What I’d previously fought of as ‘noisy fucking pests’; rats in the sky makin’ a racket when I’m hung over. And now my revulsion has turn to relevation and I’m loving ‘em all. Sparrers. Robins. Big Black Fuckers. Tits. Ha, ha. And trees. There’s loads of ‘em. Amazing wot you notice now the football’s finished forever. Or not.

And that is the question of the day: what do we do about football? It’s all a question of who is going to be most pissed off.

If the season is played beyond July 1st, all the players under contract til June 31st (and there are many and they are good ones too) will be eligible to leave. Just walk off the pitch, throw their shirt and look for the next badge to kiss. Depending on how much someone is prepared to pay them to kiss it. Apparently there is no (current) law in England/Europe that can force a contract extension if the players don’t agree. So the clubs’ll be royally pissed off.

Supposing games could be played from June, which is doubtful and would be behind closed doors (the worst bit of all), they wouldn’t have enough time to finish the season before the contract scenario goes pear-shaped. Which pisses off everybody.

And if you can’t finish the season then, it begs the question of why not finish it now? As the leagues stand. And that would be great for Liverpool. And… errrr… and…

No-one else. Not one other team would benefit. All teams being relegated would start legal proceedings. Any team not promoted would start legal proceedings. Any team will delusions of grandeur (the rest) would start legal proceedings. If Spurs aren’t given a European place I’m starting legal proceedings.

Or they could ‘cancel’ the whole season. It was all a dream!!! Like the Wizard of Oz. Rub it out and start again next year with a clean slate. And I don’t think those kind, understanding, compassionate Liverpool players and fans would have any complaints about that. No. Not at all.

Happy curve-is-flattening Day

A xxxx