OMG! Top Gun is back!!! The (almost, nearly, kind’a) best film ever (one of about 428 candidates) is being sequelised. Being re-done, re-visited, re-born, re-kindled. But you can’t get it on kindle, you have to go to the movies. And Tom Cruise is returning as Maverick. Which either means that he’s failed fighter pilot school for the past 32 annual attempts since the original in 1986 and is still ‘the rogue pupil’ or they’re bringing him back in some other capacity. Like as a teacher, or the grizzled, veteran, superhero of a thousand dog-fights. And I think they’re going to make him taller this time. Like they did when he played 6 foot 4 Jack Reacher. Easy in movieland to grow 8 inches. Or maybe it’ll be set in the Top Gun retirement home for ex-super-hero-fighter-pilots-and-other-really-cool-babe-magnets.

Kelly McGillis won’t be in this one, I’m guessing. And if she is she’ll be playing Tom’s grandma. The real unfairness of the movie industry, its not all about the money, its about men retaining the right to play ‘cool’ into their 90s whilst women can only do ‘babe’ until they’re 32. By the time they’re 41 they can only do grandmas or waitresses in diners. Whilst a man at 50 can still be the quarterback in a High School movie. Time’s Up is a political thing and won’t affect casting whatsoever.

Tom is going to be flying a fab F15 bomber-jet-fighter thing. Made from cheap Chinese steel, assembled in Canada and controlled by British technology and missile system with a French white flag under the seat, just in case. (The French have loads).

But that’s all set to end. Trump, pissed off about (everything really, but mainly-) the cheap steel from China, he’s decided to put punitive import tax on… everything except Chinese steel. No, I can’t see the logic either, but this is Trump we’re talking about. So he’ll tax BMWs and British steel and English asparagus and I heart Megan hats and Scotch (because he’s a fucking teetotaller) and all things of a Euro or even a soon-to-be-ex-Euro nature. Pasta’s going up, French bread dearer than gold. Even Canada gets increased duty put on… maple syrup, polar bears… other things Canadians sell to America. And in return, we’ll hike the tax on Levis and Harley Davidsons and Jack Daniels. China remains unaffected.

At least we won’t have to pay more for films. But I reckon Top Gun 2 or whatever they call it will be a tragic disappointment. You can’t repeat brilliant. As much because of the zeitgeist. The original took our breath away and had ‘1980s’ stamped all over it. But ok, what time you wanna go? I’m in.

Happy Saturday

A xxxx