Spurs played last night. Villarreal in the Champions League. Entry to which we qualified for by winning the Europa League last year. It’s the first time that winning the ‘2nd class’ cup actually rewarded you with entry to First Class the following season. But we’re in. And we won. I’m not saying we won with any degree of style or beauty, but we were gifted a quite ridiculous own goal in the 4th minute and clung on for grim death. None of which bothers me to any extent, nor does it reduce the 3 points we won for the victory.

But what about Joey?

He’s 6. A fanatical Spurs fan. Obsessed with football generally. And his initiation to European football, the first Euro match he actually attended, was the final last year in Venice.

Because Joey has ‘prior commitments’, like, er, school, and he burns up sufficient energy every day to power a small town, he needs to be in bed by 7.30 ‘for 8.00’. So he goes to bed at 7.30 and by the time he’s finished jumping out, annoying his sister, having a story, demanding another, all the usual antics, he’s out for the count by 8.

Or ‘kick off time’ as we call it for midweek European matches.

So negotiations start. Because he desperately wants to watch it on tv. The ‘normal’ settlement is that he can watch the first half, a short story, then sleep. 9 o’clock. That’s workable.

But Joey’s not really interested in ‘workable’, nor sensible, nor anything else really other than watching football with his dad. All of it.

So he calls in ACAS, phones the leader of the schoolchildren’s union and they ‘sit round a table’ for further discussions. In the end Donald Trump came to help ‘do a deal’. They thought Qatar might be the proper place for such deliberations but… Where it was decided that the plaintiff would be allowed to watch the second half, as long as he promised to be a good boy in the morning. No ‘I’M TIIIIIIRRED!!!!’, no moaning, no refusal to get dressed, no fuss at school.

Spoiler alert: Joey breaks promises. All day. Every day. All kids do. They’re just like adults in that respect. Say whatever you have to get what you want and worry about the consequences, the promises, later. Because by ‘later’ you’ll have forgotten the promises you made.

This morning, Joey refused to get out of bed. It took four lawyers, an injunction and replays of ‘the deal’ before a judge ordered him to school. And by playing the ‘then you can’t watch any more midweek games!!!!!’, threat.

Joey 1, Rest of the World 0.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx