‘The camera never lies’, as they say. So forget all the cutesy-wootsy posing and posturing which you’re used to from the world’s bestest granddaughter, because underneath all that facade of sweetness and compliance and good-girlish goo-goo, there lurks… a woman in waiting! This one. Unless she chooses to change how she identifies, later in life, like when she’s 7, and then she’ll be a ‘thing-in-waiting’, defying definition or labelling by anyone. And being a woman in my life, she may choose that very path, just for the obstructive value. Because although my family does a good line in well-behaved, compliant, docile men, like me, (though we also have Joey who can’t tick any of those, nor any other really, boxes), the women are strong. Opinionated. Argumentative. Even with men! And the funny thing is that we then adopt the new version of sexism. Because if a woman, or woman-to-be, is stroppy and self-possessed and headstrong and defiant (no names, LILAAA!), she is referred to as ‘sassy’. If a man acts in that way, he is referred to as a tosser and gets punched. Is that fair? Is that this new egalitarianism we’ve been promised??? Or do I have to dress as a woman pretending to be a man before I’m entitled to this illusion of ‘equality’??? Like I usually do, really.

Went out to a ‘dinner’ yesterday, provided by a contact lens manufacturer. Still breaking my fast. But as it became the nearest thing to a ‘free lunch’ you could get, we went along. And normally, at such ‘professional’ events, they adhere to the protocol of getting the technical stuff out of the way whilst everyone’s sober, offering no more than a mango punch or an elderflower consommé (pretentious fuckers) until you’ve been educated and indoctrinated, then you get pissed afterwards. If there’s time. But last night was different. Cocktails/aperitifs on arrival. Or, JD-an’-coke, as they’re known. Followed by… pretty much anything, everything, and loads more where that came from. The meal was withheld until after the ‘presentation’ but everyone was so drunk by then, no-one cared.

I think all professional events should now follow along this model. You don’t remember quite so much information… in fact, none. But WTF?

Happy Friday

A xxxx