Ok, I’m over this government, they’ve done nothing! Nothing worth having, that is. They’ve put tax up, reduced growth, knackered the Christmas economy, fucked up the workforce, re-funded Hamas (ok, UNWRA, same difference), caved into the unions and negotiated with a terrorist state (Syria). So we’re going to get rid of them. Furthermore, Spurs are still languishing mid-table, so what fucking use is a fucking Labour government to anyone?

But help is at hand. If I read this correctly, Elon Musk, the world’s most richest-est person of all the entire spectrum of human types, not just the weirdos, is going to buy us a new government. He can afford it. He’s worth more than Uzbekistan, Madagascar and South Korea combined. (Trust me on the figures, it’s too difficult a calculation to ‘share’).

What’ll happen is this: Musk has bought Nigel Farage, for £322.43, on ebay, and will instigate a coup in which Donald Trump will invade Westminster, blow up Kier Starmer and instal Farage as his puppet PM, whilst he pulls OUR strings from Washington. Effectively we’d be the 51st State, but privately owned by Elon Musk. On a leasehold agreement. Voting will all take place on Twitter, but all votes for anyone other than Nigel will be discarded. Proper democracy. Illegal, corrupt and run totally by a foreign nation.

And by Trump’s rules.

Guns for sale. Everywhere. Any age.
Walls built. Everywhere.
No more Mexicans will enter our nation from either Wales or Scotland. We may possibly have a wall around Manchester too. Just to stop people getting out.
Hertfordshire will become the world’s biggest golf course and be re-named ‘Trump-shire’.
Grabbing women by any part of their anatomy will become acceptable once more, as it is in any civilised country.
Any boats found anywhere within a 6-mile radius will be blown up, possibly nuked. Any papers subsequently found a’floating will be assessed for refugee status and asylum.
All car sales after 2025 will be of Teslas only.
Every political statement will be stated twice. Stated twice.

Happy revolution day

A xxxx