I don’t know if you remember the famous ‘pink man’ incident? When half
of a handless pink man suddenly appeared in our garden many years
back. Would have been really weird and spooky and Twilight Zone, if we
hadn’t placed him carefully between the rhododendron and the rosebush
ourselves. And bizarrely, he’s a very divisive character. Its in his
nature. People either swoon over his very pink, plasticness or are
repulsed by him/it. But like really find him horrible, kind’a: ‘make
it go away!’. And its for those people really, that we keep him,
hidden in the bushes at the back of the garden. Hoping that they leave
earlier because of the offense he causes, drink less of my whisky, eat
fewer barbecued sausages.

But he’s ‘pink man’ no more!!! He’s got a new coat. (Of paint,
obviously). He’s never been subtle. So when the spray can of pink
paint finally ran out, (pink men don’t stay pink by themselves, a
process not helped much by birdshit and rain), we went dayglo. Why
not? We opted for fluorescent orange to help him blend in. Maybe a
tribute to Donald Trump. I’m not sure of pink man’s politics. He
doesn’t live in the middle of the garden, he’s shy. That’s his
‘spraying chair’, much like you sit in the barber’s chair for
beautification, so he… kind’a… stands(?) there on his waist
staring in a pink manly way. At the back of the chair. Deep in
thought.

He’s also developed a terrible and debilitating skin condition. Due
mainly to a poor diet and fluorescent paints lacking the covering
power of lesser colours. Who cares? He’ll do.

Emmanuel Macron is not pink. He’s kind’a pasty. Maybe he needs a
respray too. But that won’t affect his stance on Britain. And for a
noted ‘Anglophile’ he doesn’t have many nice things to say about us.
Particularly Boris and Nigel who he holds in particular contempt. So
his judgment’s sound, at least. He’s a businessman, not a career
politician. So first and foremost he sees Brexit as a great
opportunity for France. To take over as the financial capital of
Europe. Stealing business from US! Le batard!!! He’s also rather
divisive himself, like Pink/Orange-Man. As a ‘centrist’ you’d kind’a
think he’s hedged himself. But on Sunday he upset the entire right
wing because they love Marine, and yesterday the lefties were
‘marching’ in protest against his globalism and general non-leftiness.
And when I say ‘march’, I’m not sure when a march becomes a riot in
France. But over here, once they deploy tear gas and the SWAT teams
arrive, that’s a riot.

Bon chance, Monsieur Le President, je pense you’re gonna need it.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx