A UPS dude called into work yesterday with a package from France. One of my regular suppliers. And indeed one of our regular UPS dudes. “Here’s your package” he proclaimed, so fluently that I reckon he’s said that before. But his little bleeper wouldn’t bleep the bar code, despite frequent attempts, a modern-day, first-world tragedy! “Oh”, he said, “its because there’s an invoice”. Not from the suppliers, but from UPS. Not delivery, that’s paid. But ‘duty’. “One hundred and nine pounds and seventy-five pence”. He’s never done that before. Never asked, begged, demanded or even requested one single penny. But, ahhhhhhh, Brexit!!!

So I approached today being not too pleasantly disposed to our thieving neighbours across the Channel. Even though this ‘duty’ is British duty on imported goods because ‘we’ chose to leave the EU. I did a quick calculation, but did it in ‘Farage style’ of mathematics rather than the usual Cartesian type. It went like this: Ok, so I pay 110 quid and that guarantees that boatloads of Afghani terrorists (who don’t actually come from Europe, but I don’t wish to disturb the sums) will NEVER DARKEN BRITISH SHORES AGAIN!!!! Small price to pay. Even though it felt like a big one. And a very annoying one.

So then I read that ‘Europe’ (and by that I only mean the bits that count: Germany, France, Italy, possibly Spain) will not reach vaccination max. until August, at very best, whereas over here, where we chose to, sort of, ‘use’ a really good vaccine like the AstraZeneca, rather than invent fictional issues with it for political reasons, will be done by June. And here’s the best bit. Economists have worked out (no idea how, that’s why they are the economists and not me) that each month after vaccination will improve the nation’s GDP by 18 billion quid! So in those 2 months, we become 36 billion quid richer than any German, Frog or Eye-tie. And that can only be good news. For… everybody! They should not give a penny of that to anyone refusing the vaccine. Because they’re stupid and don’t deserve a share of the benefits.

Anyway, I have bigger things to worry about than the vaccination programme in Antwerp or how to spend 18 billion quid. Spurs are playing Arsenal tomorrow. Needless to say, but I will anyway: biggest game of all time. Start worrying… NOW!!!

Happy Saturday

A xxxx