We’re on Fogo Island. Off the north coast of Newfoundland. Look on a map. Newfoundland is a tiny ‘bit’ on the east of Canada. It’s bigger than England. Fogo won’t be on any map until you zoom in. So I thought we’d be on one of those little cartoon islands with a palm tree stuck in the middle (I know, palm trees are pretty rare up here) and maybe an old man with a really long beard who was marooned here 25 years ago. But in fact, this ‘tiny’ island is ‘massive’, as tiny islands go. It’s ‘tiny’ Canada-style.

And there’s the problem. Everything here is massive. Including most of the people. Newfoundland is just full of overweight people. And we’re not talking ‘carrying a few extra pounds’, even a few extra kilos, cos it’s very ‘metric’ up here, obviously. No, we’re talking about Florida levels of waddling. Ok, it gets cold (serious understatement) so maybe their laying on a bit for the winter to come. Or maybe it’s a lifestyle thing where eating becomes the sole activity. Or the cod activity really cos the seas round here are full of it and it’s fab. But when you go into a supermarket (and yes, they do have them, even on tiny little Fogo, population 2,500), everything they sell is BIG! They had chocolate almonds, a particular favourite of mine. But they only come in 900gm bags. That’s 2lbs to you and me. Who the fuck needs to eat 2 lbs of chocolate almonds?

The people of Newfoundland, that’s who. Along with supersized bags of crisps, fucking buckets of peanut butter and moose meat. Seen the size of a moose??? Ok, they don’t eat that, but it’s the principle. Of bigness. Though they are a very friendly people. They just talk to you. They love Mel’s hair. Obviously they’ve never seen Harpo Marx. They love the accent. “Oh, you’re Scotlandish/South African/Australian…”, and they talk funny. Canadians all talk funny. Even our mates from Toronto talk pretty funny, but up here it’s a different level of ‘funny’. And when you’re on Fogo you encounter levels of ‘funny’ fast approaching ‘downright wierd’. They sound more Irish than Canadian but drop all their ‘h’s and use odd words. Basically, they needs subtitles. But are very charming. And they all drive massive ‘fuck-off’ trucks. They couldn’t fit in anything smaller.

This morning the sun has actually come out. Turning the merely beautiful into the downright spectacular. Windy as hell, but sunny!!! I’ll take it. We shall hike and trek. And inevitably get lost. As we did yesterday after our easy hike, finding the car. There ya go. Sometimes you have to ‘go the extra mile’ to prove your incompetence.

Happy Monday

A xxxx