See its not just Jeremy Corbyn who gets fed up with the constant bombardment of paparazzi and being constantly hassled all the time. Lila has enough too.

The difference being that Lila is a divine and sweet little soft thing filled with love and gorgeousness, whilst Corbyn is a motherfucker. Or worse.

The Labour party election manifesto was revealed yesterday. Shouldn’t have been but someone ‘leaked’ it to the Daily Telegraph. And as the thing was only in draft form and hadn’t been sent to MPs yet, one can only assume that someone within the inner confines of the Kremlin (as we’ll soon be calling Labour HQ) actually wanted it ‘leaked’. In which case I suppose, its less ‘leak’ and more… something that’s thrust out there suddenly from within… its more ‘vomit’.

And it reads like that too. Not that I’ve read it. In fact you don’t need to read it. Look up any hard left manifesto of old and you know precisely what it says.

In my heart I’m a Labour supporter. Sadly, rarely in the polling booths, but in my heart. But ‘my’ kind of Labour is not just about fairness and caring for the needy in our society, it needs to be workable and it needs to be tempered by sound facts, common sense and be without the venom and hatred that the Corbynites have for any kind of success. It needs to be inclusive, rather than this horrible, hateful divisiveness. The ‘we’ll make THEM pay!!!!’ attitude of the current band of militant tossers. Bring back champagne socialism and I’m in.

Champagne will be illegal if Labour win the election. As will ‘being successful’ or ‘caught in possession of a sense of humour’. Because there’s nothing funny in the manifesto. Just like one written in the 1970s it calls for re-nationalising the railways, the energy supply, all the things that are really unpopular. Of course, there were probably even more unpopular when under national control, especially the railways, which is why they privatised them in the first place.

Free school dinners, again, immensely popular, free university tuition fees; brilliant. As a rule, anything in any manifesto that uses the word ‘free’ will always be popular. Sadly, and this is where the whole things parts from reality, nothing is ever ‘free’. If its ‘free’ for you, then someone else is paying for it. In this case, the 90 billion quid that all these lovely ‘free’ things will cost, will ‘easily’ be paid for by increases in, basically, tax for the ‘rich’ and for companies.

We already have a situation here where 5% of people and organisations pay 47% of all tax. And they are precisely the 5% that Corbyn et al wish to get to pay this 90 billion quid. The problem being that as well as being the major job creators and work providers, they tend to be more flexible, both in their ability to move away (maybe over to post-Brexit Europe) and the ability to find ways round paying punitive taxation. Corbyn has no ‘plan B’ if this tax plan fails. He’s not creating any more jobs or businesses, just punishing those already there.

And of all the horrible, hateful, nasty, war-torn, murderous nations in the world, the Manifesto only wants to take issue with Israel.

I’m still voting for Lila.

Happy Friday

A xxxx