In bridge you strive to make a ‘contract’ to play the hand. And if you and partner can’t agree a suit that you both hold sufficiently, when all else fails, you play in ‘no trump’. In which… doh… there is no trump suit. Its the last measure.

Thus in America. All else has failed so now they too, as a nation, must resort to a No Trump policy. Its that simple. Bridge as a metaphor for political life, for last resorts, for the saviour of all mankind.

Because the Republicans have now chosen The Don as their presidential candidate. Well, the Republicans minus Ted Cruz, who refused to endorse his former rival. And like God ‘chose’ the jews to be ‘his people’ and thus condemn them to 4 millennia of persecution, hatred and abuse, thus should we treat America’s chosen one.

“AAAAHHHHMM GONNA MAKE AMEEEEERRRRRICA GREAEAEAEATTTTT AGIN!!!!” (No mention how this might come about, but heh, its America, a nation of believers).

“AAAAHHHHMM GONNA MAKE AMEEEEEERRRRRRICA SAFE AGIN!!!!” (Once more; big on ideals, a bit light on details. In fact not one detail other than the wall building shit and ‘keeping forinners out’).

And then, in Cleveland, he added that he would no longer see the violence and aggression in ‘our country’ AT THE POLICE. So no prizes for guessing which ‘side’ the Trumpster stands on that one. The aggression directed at the police must stop. No mention of what caused that aggression. Not in Don’s world. Its irrelevant.

For the sake of all that is holy, I implore the good people of America (there must be at least a dozen or so, surely?) NOT to vote Trump as the next president. As well as being stupid, ill-informed and risible, it would be fucking dangerous.

Here’s an expression that is officially outdated, redundant, obselete: ‘how did you hear about that??’

Asked this morning of me after I’d congratulated a lady I know on her son’s engagement. He proposed on Thursday night. Did she expect me to read about it in the Times social calendar next Wednesday? Await a postcard? View the postings on the Town Hall notice board??

Within 37 seconds of the acceptance of the proposal the status of the bride to be on Facebook changed to ‘engaged’, a photo appeared on her instagram feed 22 seconds later having posed fiancee back in the ‘down on one knee’ position. Within 3 minutes the news had been ‘liked’ by 4,592 people in 73 different countries. It all happens so quickly that even me, who follows none of the above and reveres ‘oblivious’ as an aspirational state, heard from numerous people.

So ‘how did you hear’, simply has no relevance in the modern world. Ditch it.

Happy Saturday

A xxxx