I have never received a ‘sext’. Perhaps I would have if Mel could use her phone properly, but that will never happen. No-one else ‘sexts’ me so I’m a loser. Because this activity is now so common that 70% of ‘young’ people have received them. And this is how they voted: the men, receiving naked, nude, explicit, pornographic, surgical shots from women deem them to be ‘acceptable’ (the process, not, obvs., the quality of the actual picture or desire-worthiness of it). The girls (because 18-24 is pretty young) rated getting unwanted dick-pics as fairly inappropriate. Again, depends on the dick, I suppose.

When I was 18-24 it was much weirder. You had to take a photo of your dick, and unless you wanted to take another 23 photos of it (though it is remarkably photogenic, I must say), you then waited til your next holiday when you finished the roll of film. Then you take it to Boots, who may or may not refuse to print penis pictures, depending on who’s doing the printing and how lovely the penis is. You then pick up the photo and post it to the intended recipient. But it gets delayed by being sent to a sorting office in Solihull by mistake and takes ages to get there. By the time the photo arrives at its intended recipient you’re already going out with her best mate’s cousin. Worse still, in the intervening 7 months since taking the shot your willy looks different.

The only way to speed up the process and get results anywhere even vaguely approaching Instagram speeds was to just wait at the bus stop and show the intended recipient the real thing. But there were legal issues involved and dirty raincoats to consider for such an action.

But what is really interesting is that whilst women don’t like getting naked pictures (or at least are prepared to say they don’t), men/boys absolutely love it. And its just ‘there’. A genuine, not-to-be-equalitised, gender difference. Men’s minds are inherently pornographic, womens’ are more ‘Mills & Boone’, or so they’d have us believe. Gay men obviously have no such worries about causing offense. Gay women presumably just don’t ‘sext’.

I put it down to ‘biological, evolutionary differences’ because no-one can argue with that. Men’s ‘biological need’ to spread seed (even when compliant with condom regulations) is ‘inherent’ and required for procreational purposes of a strictly Darwinian nature. Therefore every woman in the world needs to see your seed-spreader?

England won last night; that’s the main thing. Three points off those wrestling Tunisian cry-babies.

I LOVE YOU HARRY!!! (But probably won’t be sending him any sexts to show that love. Different kind’a love, innit.)

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx