Ok, I’ll say it up front: its not normal to have 13 kids. Perhaps they kept trying to have one that didn’t have a blurry face, I don’t know. That in itself is a shame. But whatever the reason for having a multitude (a full football team AND two reserves; an entire basketball match and three umpires) its gonna end badly. And for the now famous (as of yesterday) Turpin family of Perris, California, their fifteen minutes has started. But not in a particularly good way. Others who’ve had too many children have also been a bit odd. Remember the Old Woman Who lived in a Shoe? Fucking child abuser, she was. ‘Smacked them all soundly and sent them to bed’.

Which I suppose is better than ‘smack them all soundly and chain them to bed’ which is what happened here. Well, ‘there’ really.

So the Turpins were just a ‘normal’ family. With 13 children. Who they dressed all alike (gender considerations notwithstanding). That’s normal. And Mr & Mrs Turpin used to go regularly to Las Vegas, with the entire family, to renew their wedding vows. In a ceremony officiated by an Elvis Presley impersonator. That’s ‘normal’ too. So far so normal. Even all having the same haircut is pretty ‘normal’. Just a little ‘eccentric’ on the scale of ‘normal to barking’.

There’s only ever two reasons why terrible things like this happen. 1. They’re mad as hatters, or 2. God told them to do it. (Obviously these two are not mutually exclusive). And those can apply to having 13 children as well as choosing to ‘torture’ them. Starve them. Chain them indoors, never letting them in the fresh air. Other than to take photos to post on Facebook of the ‘happy family’ in Vegas, Disneyland or any other cliché they chose.

Maybe the children were really really naughty. Yeah, maybe. But even so… Maybe the couple just ‘flipped’, or maybe an angel of the Lord came to them one night…

David Turpin’s mother has defended her son and described the family as ‘a good Christian family’. The kids were home schooled and apparently had to memorise large parts of the bible. There again they had time as they were never allowed out of the house.

I’m pleased that the children, now all in hospital and range in age up to 29 (children???), are ‘friendly and happy’. I really hope that with years of counselling they can get over the tragic misfortune of having such ‘normal’ parents.

I blame Trump.

Happy Wednesdsay

A xxxx