So what do you do on Liladay when there’s no Lila? She’s tanning herself in the Indian Ocean and I’m here in the grey and damp. Although maybe not ‘tanning’ as such, due to the gallons of factor 50 her mum took with. More at risk of drowning in sun protection than getting burnt. Anyway, its not about ‘her’, its about MEEEEE. I’m the one left in limbo. So to compensate we’ve brought my father-in-law down from Manchester for a few days, so we can babysit him instead. He’s been here 24 hours and hasn’t even got the Barbies out yet. Lila would be appalled.

But never mind. When plans get altered there’s always new plans to make, new wonderful things to do, new fun to be had. There’s always…

Dentistry.

I love a dentist visit. Not check-ups, they’re no fun. I mean proper, scalpels out, drugs in, cutting, digging, sewing, blood, gore, red pillows tomorrow morning- dentistry. And I’m going this afternoon. Booked it in November, some serious shit going on. In my mouth today. And as its scheduled at two and a half hours, they offered me some form of ‘mild sedation’. Mild? MILD??? FUCKING MILD???? I take mild sedation to get on the tube. For this ‘pro-ceeee-dure’ I want POW-ER-FUL!!! I want knock-out. I want the finest, pharmaceutical quality shit I can get in me. You can hack away, I’m gonna be on Venus. So they offer ‘intra-venous’ which I’ve had and to be honest I didn’t like. Left me feeling awful. So I went for ‘oral’. No comments please, that’s beneath even YOU. A tab of Valium makes the world a better place. Even ‘that’ world. And that was the plan.

They phoned me last week. You can’t have oral sedation. We’re not allowed to give it any longer. WHHHHAAAAAATTTTTTT!!!!!! Law’s changed. Dentists and drugs, blah, blah, blah, can’t do it. Bastards. I called them back three upset, panicky days later. Can I bring my own? Like taking wine to an unlicensed restaurant. Do you charge corkage? Of course you can bring your own. Bring all the drugs you need, but we can’t give them to you. I think, even at my age, I can manage to get a pill into my mouth without falling over. I won’t bore you with the sorry tale of my GP’s refusal to prescribe such things which are ‘out of their control’. Because they’re a bunch of obstructive tossers and the plan is that I want to be completely out of control. But I ‘scored’ some, anyway.

Four o’clock today.

This photo is possibly my fave Lila-pic EVER. Independent ‘woman’. As if. But just so self-possessed. The essence of Lila in one little photo.

Happy (????) Thursday

A xxxx