So here’s two headlines. The one on the right is from Yesterday’s Mail on Sunday. The one on the left from the Times this morning (I can only do the Mail once a week or my stomach won’t settle, my lungs pack up and my brain might actually start to think that what they write might be correct in any way). So there’s two ways to interpret this massive differential in the price of Adele tickets for the rescheduled Las Vegas shows.

The first is that the ticket price has plummeted since yesterday morning (when the paper boy arrived) from a ‘high’ of 200k, with the markets down to 40k by the time he made it up the path this morning. Which, in terms of market movement, is so colossal that it hasn’t been seen since Bitcoin tanked, or at least since Kwasi Kwarteng was our chancellor.

I’d just like to state my own horror that in these times of world starvation and climate crisis, while 2/3rds of British people are not going to be able to meet their heating bills this winter, while our nation is in the grip of a terrible down-cycle in its economy, that someone is willing to pay ‘even’ 40 grand to hear ‘Someone Like Me’, which Alexa will play all the time for just 7.99 a month! And you don’t have to go to Las Vegas to hear that. Comes from Beijing. I mean 40 grand is such a lot of money in real terms. You could use it to upgrade your order for the new, hybrid Ferrari, from the hard-top to the convertible. And still have 2 grand left over!! Buy the kids some new shoes. Possibly even get some food. Proper food. Wot comes pre-made and microwave-ready. None of that ‘do-it-yourself’ muck they eat down south.

But the second explanation for this massive discrepancy in price of these tickets is much more interesting. Because for the first time, (but by no means the last) it actually quantifies, in absolute and definitive terms, that the Mail is precisely 5 times as stupid as proper newspapers. We’ve always known it to be ‘economical’ where accuracy is concerned. Always felt it would never let something as trivial as ‘truth’ get in the way of good, honest sensationalism, and now we can actually put a figure on it.

Another fan incident.
Last night, attending a ‘shiva’ following the death of my mate’s mum, I was (almost) assaulted by baying crowds of fans, vast mobs of screaming girls, it was ‘Andymania’ once more. Ok, maybe it was a bit more low-key as one solitary guy came over, asked who I was (never a good thing) but then told me he reads my blog. Obviously, I told him to ‘piss off and speak to my agent’, because like James Corden, I can do ‘diva’ like the best of them. But as that is only the second time I’ve been approached by strangers to tell me that (the first time was at Jaipur airport; (Andy International Inc.), it made me very happy. He told me it was shit, but that’s really not the point.

Happy Monday

A xxxx