So I’m on a boat. Big sodding boat. Taking us from one bit of Scotland to another. Ok, more specifically, from mainland to the Isle of Islay, over in the West. And the boat, once you’ve parked the car in a very crowded, cramped car-park, downstairs, is surprisingly luxurious. It has a bar. It has tvs. It has fruit machines. It even has wi-fi. Unlike our last hotel, which didn’t. And, as we realised quite soon, I’d almost rather do without a roof than wi-fi. Until it started raining, then I got the roof put back on.

And it does rain a lot.

But back on the boat; its like a cruise ship. Or, like I’d imagine a cruise ship to be if I was old or infirm enough to ever go on a cruise. Similarly, I imagined the ‘Kennacraig to Islay’ ferry as being a strictly utilitarian, bleakly austere, protestantianly grim and serious and full of all the poverty that Nicola Sturgeon keeps banging on about. But no. We have (a degree of) luxury. You can even drink whisky here, at 9.30 in the morning, without having to put it in a paper bag and sit in a doorway. Its that civilised.

Loch Lomond was exceptionally beautiful. Everywhere here is exceptionally beautiful. If you like green, you like water, you like trees and mountains, and most of all, you like BIG. Its vast. Fucking immense. And there’s mountains all around so you’d call it ‘the Highlands’ if someone hadn’t named it so already. They could have called it the wetlands, that would be accurate too. Cos its wet here. But driving around is just fab around the Lochs with every bend and turn bringing new wonderful views. Or the same wonderful view but from a different angle. Love Scotland. Good people. Some of them.

And thus I’ve left behind the woes at home. Almost. The good thing about Scotland is that you get BBC news. For the time being. Whilst its still part of ‘B’. The bad thing about Scotland is that you get BBC news. Though

Which is great because England have won the World Cup! Almost. Semi-finals of the women’s world cup is seriously brilliant. I’m now prepared to, if not exactly get excited, at least get involved. That’s a start. And for some reason I think if the women do manage to win it, that will be a touch humiliating for our boys. Yet I haven’t worked out why that should be.

The shootings in Tunisia were awful. And obviously targeted specifically against Britain. But its really not a ‘Tunisia’ problem. If I was there (and not shot) I’d stay for my holiday. Because you’re probably safer there than anywhere else in the world for the next few weeks. The ‘lone wolf’ terrorist is the most dangerous of all because he can strike anywhere, any time, any country, city or school/hospital/beach. You can’t fight a philosophy, however fucked it may be, with conventional weaponry or rules. And this particular ideology is so vile, poisonous and evil, I’m not sure how you’d fight it at all.

Ok, another 2 hours and I’ll land, so I need to go and be sick somewhere, so I know I’ve been on a boat.

Happy first Monday of Wimbledon. Come on Murray; for Britain, FOR SCOTLAND.

A xxxx