Arsenal’s new manager, Unai Emery, is of the ‘new breed’ of managers, pioneered by Arsene Wenger, whereby they don’t just show you which way to kick the ball. They are holistic in approach. They start with diet and training and they essentially control every facet of the players’ lives. Because having players, like George Best, Jimmy Greaves, who lack nothing in the skill department but everything where self-control is concerned, simply doesn’t suit the modern game. No team ever shagged their way drunkenly to the title. So the new way is to improve fitness and stamina and reduce injuries, hopefully. Train hard, eat really well, don’t drink, don’t smoke and sleep properly. Unai is 100% committed to this paradigm.

So how happy do you reckon he was to see some footage published by The Sun (who fucking else?) which showed about 10 of his superstars in the VIP lounge of a club at 3 in the morning, clocking up a £30,000 bar bill and being seen inhaling ‘hippy crack’ from balloons? Just a couple of days before the first match of the season.

I make no judgments. I believe strongly in a work/life balance. I always adored the wild guys who lived to excess. But I’m really pleased that this happened at Arsenal.

Brexit. The world’s biggest fuck up. Do you remember the old joke: can I buy that bread roll please? Certainly, that’s 40p. 40p??? They’re only 35p down the road. Well go buy one there then. I can’t, they’ve sold out. Ahhh, when we’ve sold out, ours are 35p too.

That’s the Labour Party. ‘Our Brexit plan is fab. Ours is wonderful. Everyone would love our ideas. This government has fucked it up royally. It’s divided. Blah, blah, Marxist crap, then more blah, blah, blah’.

It’s dead easy to have ‘the perfect Brexit plan’. As long as you never have to get it past: (in no particular order): the remainers in your own party, the leavers in your own party, the same in all the other parties, the Irish, Brussels and everybody else in the entire continent. In short, the Labour Party have the absolute best plan that no-one will ever see nor care about. Tossers. And I’m fed up hearing about it.

Happy Saturday

A xxxx