President Hollande is getting a bit testy about Russia. Well, everyone’s getting a bit testy about Russia. And so they should. Its a terrible place. Filled with Russians, generally, who are awful people, and many other racists, anti-semites and semi-agricultural, knuckle-dragging peasants. Its always been an awful place. Joseph Stalin invented genocide in the modern world. Trotsky was nothing more than a Trotskyite, Karl Marx was never as funny as any of his brothers, and was a German anyway, and the only decent Russian was that bird from Pussy Riot who they locked up in prison. And Anna Kournikova. Ahhhhhhh, Anna Kournikova…

But Francoise Hollande, ever keen to change the subject from his personal love-life, itself a thing of totally farcical proportions, has accused Britain of sucking up to the Oligarchs, of welcoming Russians, even of selling them arms. Like they don’t make any weapons themselves. Does the French boss think ‘Kalashnikov’ is a type of vodka?

So because Putin’s probably in contention with Kim Jong Un as the world’s most evil person, now that Bruce Forsyth has retired, the Malaysian Airways flight was only blown up on thursday. Its a bit much to expect Britain to have had a pre-emptive kicking out of most of London’s billionaires 5 years ago. Also, its worth noting that the oligarchs are mainly here because they have fallen foul of Putin in the first place. They didn’t come here to get a council house and free NHS dentistry. They came because their lives were endangered by remaining in Moscow under the Great Dictator’s rule. And although anyone can get arrested at any time in Russia, they’re not big on ‘judicial process’ when a poison umbrella tip or a shot of something radioactive is such a clean and simple way of taking care of your foes. Putin is definitely an Arsenal fan.

He certainly doesn’t support Chelsea where his fellow countryman, oligarch and misery-in-chief Roman Abramovich, rules the roost. Its been said for years that Roman only came to London in the first place to try and raise his profile sufficiently to prevent a Russian hit-squad from performing the fatal version of a ‘studs-up tackle’ on him. He doesn’t travel with an armed guard just to stop muggers nicking his i-phone. He lives in fear. And not of Manchester City.

No-one will ever know what the deal was when Russia’s ‘national treasures’ were flogged off, for virtually nothing, to groups of businessmen, some, as Abramovich was, just in their 20s as they ‘inherited’ the gas, oil, coal, the mines, the press, the airlines, but it turned them instantly into some of the richest men on the planet. And no-one knows how much Putin himself was paid to ‘facilitate’ such deals which basically robbed the Russians of most of their wealth and channelled it into the hands of a mere handful. Not a very Marxist-Leninist move. But it made these men rich, it made Putin richer and the flack is still being felt all over the world as his tentacles extend on revenge missions. The Oligarchs are here because Putin hates them.

And now MH17. An awful, awful tragedy. All because of Putin’s desire to take back as much of the old Soviet Union as he can.

Putin should be shot. And good luck with that.
Whereas Francoise Hollande is just a tosser. So no change there.

Happy wednesday

A xxxx