The Tokyo Olympics start this week. Did you know? You can’t actually go and watch because its just too far. And too hot. But a tv in an air-conditioned room will suffice. So you can soak up the atmosphere of the totally empty stadia as the crowd (four stewards, the tea lady and a geisha who got lost) roar with excitement. It promises to be… well, a bit dull really. But as they’ve already delayed it one year they’re going ahead. Despite the pandemic, despite the heat (currently 38 in Tokyo), despite half the athletes pulling out for testing positive. Because otherwise all those lovely uniforms and costumes would get wasted. They still say ‘Tokyo 2020’ on them, which is bad enough, but to have to dump them in a landfill in Indonesia would be tragic. Especially the women’s beach volleyball costumes. I like those. And they don’t take up much space.

I’m not really a great fan of the Olympics. I should be. Because its sport and its on tv a lot, but other than when it was over here, in ‘the proper Olympics, where they should be’, there’s only so many cycling helmets I can watch going round and round on split screens.

Holy shit! Just after writing that I jumped in the car and as the radio came on, there was a football match being played, ‘live’. With… women!!!! Not Arsenal, real women! And it was ‘Britain’ against Chile. And I thought ‘Britain?’ Britain?? Britain??? It must be the Olympics!!! And it was, they’ve already started!!! Who knew? They never told us.

So as there’s no sport on, they’ve given us Dominic Cummings instead. The man who controlled Brexit, the man who won the last general election single-handed and the man who managed to alienate the six people in the world who didn’t already hate him by taking his Covid infested family to Durham. And now he’s gainfully employed in slagging off Boris Johnson. Something the rest of us do for free. His latest revelation is that ‘he was on the verge of getting rid of Boris as PM within days of him winning the election’ because of Carrie issues and the fact that Dom and his team’s jobs were suddenly in jeopardy. He put Boris in, he could take him out. That seems fair. Democratic. The entire nation voted to put Boris in number 10 but Le Cummings decided he knew better. We already knew Boris to be incapable of being PM and a bumbling incompetent, that’s why we voted for him.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx