Once upon a time there was a handsome prince, who lived with his special princess in a castle in North London. Well, due to the increasing costs of heating and the difficulties of energy conservation, this Prince and Princess downgraded to a mere ‘house’. For the good of the environment. The real estate version of ‘going vegan’. And being a Prince carries such negativity and baggage these days, (Andrew, Harry, Charles) that the Prince became just a mere mortal. Though the princess reserved the right to act according to her title.

And once upon a time there was a film writer, director, producer called Quentin Tarantino. And he made movies that were altogether just plain ‘different’. In a wonderful way. In an original way. In a unique way. In an inspirational way. And in an unbelievably violent way. And his latest movie is Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

Once upon a time you could believe what the critics said. Now they tend to roll out the bandwagons and jump on. Because if everyone else gives a film five stars and you think its shit, then YOU MUST HAVE MISSED SOMETHING and so give it five stars anyway. Just in case. But sometimes you haven’t missed anything and a film is actually shit, but just happened to be shit that appealed to the first dude who wrote the critique. But the new Tarantino was universally acclaimed and lauded. Probably because its Tarantino and he’s too cool to downgrade, and probably because it is truly a wonderful film.

One mate told me he thought it was ok, (OK??? Tarantino???) but was slow and boring for 2 hours then unbelievably brutal for the last 10 minutes, then he went home. And the pattern of the movie is pretty much that. But the slow and boring bit is in fact (or ‘in my eyes’) the brilliant tale of 2 guys in the movie business. And its ‘slow’ because its so real. They talk bullshit to each other, then moan, they drink, smoke, take drugs, get drunk, just like ‘normal people’ but a bit more excessive. And their careers flounder and they meet odd people and… and… and… it is simply brilliance of the Tarantino variety. With the usual abundance of quirky references to other movies (both his own and others’) thrown in, some fantastic cameos (everyone wants to be in a Tarantino, even Al Pacino) and superlative musical soundtrack.

You might love it, you might hate it, but ya just GOTTA see it. You owe it to…

Happy Once Upon a Time

A xxxx