Alan Hanson said: ‘you can’t win the league with kids’
Andy Conway said: you can’t win the league with Yids.

Can I say that? Is it illegal? Will I be arrested?
Its racist, evil, unkind, like calling Mylie Sirus flat-chested.

I don’t care anyway, we’ll sing what we want to sing
Its only scoring goals that’s proved a more difficult thing.

But we won’t win the league, certainly not this year,
Even though the season can be considered rather queer.

Arsenal seem forever to have been top
but now they’ve started the inevitable drop

From from invincible, from wonderful, it seems to have been halted
Now who knows where they’ll end up being sorted.

Liverpool too, they were sublime, they had their days of glory,
now though its gone to shit, its just another story.

They beat Everton, rivals, foes and nieghbours,
and ended up still forth, for all their hard-fought labours.

Chelsea seem to have trouble scoring goals
West Ham ‘parked their bus’ to add to Morinho’s woes

Would Mata have made the difference? settled the score??
Irrelevant now, the Spaniard’s gone, what’s left was a nil-nil draw.

But no such goallessness last night at White Hart Lane
Man City scored almost all of them, which was the tragic shame.

We have hopes and dreams and expectations, we want to finish forth
But there was simply too much power from those bastards from up north

Its all gone to shit, to hell in a handcart, the game I used to love
Its women’s cricket for me from now on, a game sent from the heavens above.

We beat the Aussie women, Sheilas one and all
stuffed them rotten, got them Ashes, with bat and with the ball.

So all you gloating Gooners, all you West Hammers feeling smug
it ain’t over til its over, then still they can pull that rug.

But it makes no difference to me, whatsoever,
I don’t watch football, whatever the bleeding weather

Its bridge and women’s cricket, never fail to entertain,
football’s just a waste’a time and a right royal fucking pain.

Happy Bastard Shitty Nobbish Thursday

A xxxx