Rishi Sunak made the greatest sacrifice possible, for a political leader. He knew that whenever the election was called he was going to be humiliated. There was no doubt nor question, it was only a matter of ‘how badly’. So he took one for the team. The football team. Because knowing how badly most ‘real’ football fans (the sober ones who don’t have vuvuzelas) feel about internationals, he realised that the only way to actually make the football seem interesting was by instigating something so dull, so drab, so predictable and banal, that it would even make the footy look exiting. Hence the call for an almost unprecedented July election. In the middle of the Euros.

Yet when he called it (the odds were 34 to 1, at that point), he had no idea that, either the football was to be so bad, or that, had he waited another 4 days, he could have got his team 57 to 1 from Betfair. Lost opportunities.

Because the football has managed to out-dull the pre-election-bollocks!!! And that hasn’t happened since John Major won against the stiffest opposition from Arsenal’s George Graham years. (1 nil, to the To-o-ries, 1 nil…).

First it was the Scots. Ok, that was fairly amusing in an ‘auld enemy banter’ kind’a way. But then England played. The first match was merely awful. Last night we were elevated to ‘simply dire’. The Scots have since drawn a match which, in this part of the Euros, and if you are desperate, counts as a ‘VICTORY!!’, a chance at least.

The leader of the SNP has an accumulator on. His party to tank in Scotland without a majority and Slovenia to beat England by 6 goals. 250 to 1. As far as independence goes, if the SNP win, that’ll be a mandate for a referendum. If they lose, that’ll be a mandate for a referendum. Every time I hear that song from Frozen, ‘Let it go’, I think of Scotland. (32 to 3 against).

I’m going to the bookies this afternoon, even without any inside information at all. I’m putting 50 quid on Kier Starmer to stick to a statement for 5 consecutive days, George Galloway to get killed in what would be a ‘friendly fire’ terrorist attack, Spain to win the Euros, Harry Kane to win the Golden Boot, The Lib-Dems to take Somerset East and the whole Serbian team to get burned alive by their own fans flares. 2 million to 1.

I’ll bet its a good Friday

A xxxx