When is London not the absolute and total best city the world has ever known?

When there’s a tube strike, of course.

So today, and tomorrow, and probably some kind of knock-on to Friday, the tube workers are on strike. Led by the ever moderate, very photogenic, awfully pleasant, Bob Crowe. The leader of their union. A man with all the charm of a hob-nailed boot. As it kicks you in the teeth. Every Daily Mail reader’s favourite. Every traveller’s nemesis. The man who earns £142,000 a year but lives in a council house out east. The man who, like some modern day Nero, arranged the strike from a beach in Rio de Janeiro. I don’t think Bob plays the fiddle. Probably plays darts.

And yet… and yet… and yet…

Bob has a job to do. Which would appear to be to keep the transport system in this country exactly as it was in 1924. All change is rejected, derided, scorned and refused, on pain of striking unions. So when they took ‘guards’ off of trains, there was uproar. The fact that trains, back in the 70s, no longer needed a man to push a button to open the doors cos the driver could do it, was irrelevant. We’ve always had guards and therefore we WILL always have guards. But we don’t. The unions then did their ‘thing’ but slowly, awkwardly and obviously with lots of redundancies that no-one ever wants, guards are no more.

So now its about ticket office staff. Who also seem a touch superfluous to requirements now everyone uses Oyster cars, or touchless bank cards and I haven’t bought a ‘ticket’ in 10 years.

I hate the thought of 950 people losing their jobs. Which is where Bob comes in. “Nearly a farsand peoples is gonna be art’a work, ain’ day?” He even speaks in ‘1924’. But his point, as is his point with every single change proposed by London Underground management, is ‘saaaafety’. It ain’ safe. Whatever improvements are suggested in terms of line running or job changes is ‘unsafe’. Because that way Bob seems caring. “All I’s cares abaaart is da saaaafety of tube travellers”. And as ‘progress’ is usually something to do with job cuts, the two sides start, continue and end from positions diametrically opposed to each other. And Bob’s ‘safety concerns’ can always be placated by extra money for his workers.

BUT DIS ISSS NOT ABAAART MUNNEEEE!!!!

And again, Mr Crowe has a point; he just doesn’t make it in a very nice way. But he didn’t get where he is today by being nice.

If they remove office staff and we have unmanned stations I would not let my wife/daughters/loved ones/Spurs fans travel by tube at night. Too dangerous. Only Tai Chi masters like me would be safe from the muggers, rapists, drunk and scallywags.

But London changes during strike days. It mobilises in a different way. Everyone goes where they can and then walks. So the streets are really really crowded. With walkers, hoofing it along the thoroughfares to their destinations with looks of determination, of fighting spirit, of battle on their tube-free faces. The atmosphere’s great. Its like the Blitz all over again but without the Germans. And bombs. The Queen Mother (may Her sould rest in peace) would be proud.

Because we’re heroes, one and all. For making it to work.

Where’s me medal?

Happy Strike Day

A xxxx