Ok, so parliament is ‘taking control of the Brexit process’, they voted so on Monday. First we (apparently) want to ‘take control of the borders’, now this. We like control. Therefore they set the agenda and the government can’t do nuffink about it. And they’re basically presenting options over different proposals for Brexiting nicely, or not nicely, or even not at all. They presented 17 options, from ‘no deal’ (rejected) to Brexit lite, Brexit strong, Brexit unfiltered, 24-year reserve, almost-Brexit, Labour-Brexit and Norway Plus. All were summarily rejected by the House because they can’t agree on anything to do with Europe. And even if they did agree, apparently they’re not binding if the government don’t like them. Its ALL such a waste of time (mine) and energy (mine) and money (mine). Personally I’d go for Norway Plus, simply because then we’d all have call each other by strange names like Nils and Magnus and Odvar and go round performing really strange and bizarre murders. On bridges. But our women would look good. Not that they don’t already, obviously, darling…

And yet ‘the deal’ may still get its last airing. Theresa’s deal which parliament has twice stated, loudly, unambiguously and unequivocally: ‘THAT’S SHIT THAT DEAL! SHIT!!’ may take another vote tomorrow. And if it gets approved, Theresa walks out of our lives forever. That’s the bait. Take my deal and I’m gone. (And you can sort out the fucking mess afterwards). The deal still won’t win. Because the Irish are refusing to speak the word ‘backstop’, they have eliminated it from their language. Which is a bit like our language but different. Yet the tories, even those who hate ‘the deal’, who’ve been so nastily, vehemently critical of ‘the deal’, tossers like Boris and Rees Mogg and whole bunch of other who also went to Eton and Oxbridge and have country piles and butlers, even they are prepared to vote for that deal this time round. Because if Theresa May goes then they can address their real, self-serving, personal advancement agendas. Its the ‘me first’ moment in politics. The country can go hang.

Shoot them all. Where’s Guy Fawkes when you really need him?

Happy Thursday

A xxxx