That was the phrase that greeted me on The Godson’s facebook post this morning. Its brilliant. But requires a little thought. Just a little. In fact its much too clever for the Godson to have conjured it up himself but I’m just very proud he copied all 5 words without making a spelling mistake.

Donald Trump is the new President of the Unaaarted States of Ameeeeericaah.

Will Americans be subject to the same border control restrictions to the UK as the Poles, the Romanian pick-pockets and the middle-east boat-people? As they flock from their homes to avoid what will follow?

Though in his ‘acceptance speech’ this morning he was very up-beat. And he intends to make America prosperous. That’s unusual. Get people in jobs (building walls), tighten security (lynch mobs searching out Mussslims or anyone who might be or might one day become, Mussslims). He’s going to create jobs, prosperity, infra-structure, wealth, work and regular visits from Santa Claus. Its so easy what needs to be done; its amazing no previous prez-to-be had ever thought about it. Then it turned into the barmitzvah speech he never had, or the Grammy-winning speech he never gave, as he thanked all the lovely people that he’s spent the last 18 months annihilating in public.

Hillary? She’s been banging on about the ‘glass ceiling’, making it all about whether America is ‘ready for a woman president’. But this result wasn’t about ‘a woman president’, it was about ‘that woman president’. If it was Michelle Obama (praise her saintly soul) we’d have been listening to an acceptance speech rap this morning instead.

But more importantly: HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THEY’RE DOING TO TOBLERONE???? Its a crime against… against me. I love Toblerone. And chocolate, as we know, is not about what it made from so much as the ‘mouth-fill’. Which is why a Cadburys Flake tastes different from a Freddo. Same chocolate, different mouth-fill. Its about the texture. And they’re fucking about with Toblerone. Damned Swiss. I bet FIFA are involved. Either by corruption or by deciding that old, proper Toblerone was ‘too much a political statement’ for their fragile little minds to cope with.

What an awful day this is becoming…

Happy (??) Doomsday

A xxxx