This is a picture. Possibly the funniest picture I’ve ever seen. And I don’t know why. Though it probably encapsulates virtually everything that is wrong with the Conservative Party at the moment. Again; no idea why. Its just a ‘feeling’. Yes, men have feelings too. We’re allowed.

Alec Sherbourne is an mp. Who has two ‘sweet’ (no other word is appropriate here) little doggies and I’m gonna assume, something of a weight issue. He’s big (ha, ha, haaaaa…) in the Remain campaign. And he made the papers today for throwing a tantrum in the restaurant at the House of Commons. Not that screaming is uncommon in the commons. But poor Alec was ‘attacked’ in the verbal sense by ‘Leave’ campaigner and fellow MP Andrew Bridgen. I tried to find a photo of him too, perhaps in a tutu, but none were worthy. None compared to THAT.

Bridgen started slagging off Alec because the latter (and fatter) was eating a breakfast of a toasted sausage sandwich. And a toasted bacon sandwich. Which to me is the perfectly balanced meal. One of anything is unbalanced, have two and the scales are redressed. Perfectly balanced, all the major food groups represented, except for the good ones, the healthy ones and the ones which won’t kill you before you get to 52, but they don’t taste of much anyway. And if you put ‘superfood’ of tomato ketchup on your high fat, carb-laden bacon sarnie, that’s one of your five a day, at least. Two if the cap falls off and it all blobs out.

And Bridgen, sitting there all ladylike with his soft boiled eggy, smugly and holier-than-thou-ly, basically accused Alec of kind’a being a pig. But deep down this wasn’t about food. It was about the referendum, it was about Brexit and Remain, it was about the entire future of civilisation and the British way of life. All neatly distilled into a metaphor about food. Well, the bacon’s always crispier on the sunny side-up of the street. His cup runneth over. As did his belly. And his plate was more than half full. No idea about his cup, they didn’t mention.

So two tories bitch-slap each other, verbally at least, in a row about Europe. The party’s divided, the government’s gone to shit, everyone hates everyone else, the other side is lying, cheating, exaggerating, dramatising, scare-mongering, doomsday scenario-ing…

We should have more referenda.

Happy well-fed Thursday

A xxxx