Prince Andrew is ‘going the whole way’. He’s going to bat against Virginia Whassername and is demanding a trial by jury. But surely a jury is a ‘jury of your peers’. So they have to find 10 Princes, ideally ones that have also been disowned by their families, and sit them in a room with Gregory Peck. That’s the rules. And Andrew’s defence is based on the ‘amnesia plea’ which is basically: ‘I have no recollection of ever being anywhere or doing anything bad with any children, but if photos or other evidence comes to light which indicates I was there, then I’ll find other methods of obfuscation and squirm out in a different direction’.

And Boris too is in even more trouble. Itself almost unimaginable. Now its Afghanistan. He stated, live and on the BBC, that he certainly ‘didn’t send a demand to evacuate all the dogs from a sanctuary and get them on flights to Britain’. And now a letter has ‘emerged’ which shows that was precisely what happened. The question: ‘who the fuck is worried about stray dogs when Kabul has hundreds of thousands of civilians who in some way aided ‘the occupiers’ and who will face severe hardship under the Taliban and can’t find space on planes’ is best considered from the perspective of (the incumbent) Mrs Johnson. She’s a tree-hugging pet-lover, dog-fancier (YES, I do mean her husband) and all round animal saviour. Whereas in Carrie-world there’s no shortage of Afghanis, thousands on every news report, so if a few get lost along the way… oh please, Boris, PLEA-EASE, get the doggies home to mummy…

And so we await the Grey Report. Which is not a general report of Boris repeatedly lying to, misleading, telling fibs and being a reprobate, both to Parliament and, more importantly, to us, the voting population, but just comments on whether rules were broken during lockdown. Do we really need a ‘report’ and an ‘inquiry’ to decide whether any of the 19 gatherings of up to 60 people getting pissed in close proximity in any way constituted ‘a party’? Do we really need that?

With Boris and Andrew, the moral example from the upper echelons of our society is not really the best. Unfortunately we can’t sack Andrew. Even though the Queen already has.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx