We’ve moved. No longer on Kea, we took the morning ferry back to… somewhere fairly near Athens, from where we took an Uber to… a resort somewhere fairly near Athens. This picture will tell you exactly where we are now. We’re ‘there’. So we can enjoy our last day and tomorrow morning here before heading for the airport.

And I wanted to spend our last night on proper Greece. Where all the cool old dudes created our world. Where Pythagoras invented the triangle. Where Democritus (no such bloke, but there should be) invented the Liberal Democrat Party and a system of government selection that many countries adhere to, to this day. Not America, obviously, they have a system by which either Trump wins, or its ‘rigged’, regardless of the votes cast.

Plato lived here, probably alone, with lots of ‘friends’, none of whom he shagged. Aristotle was the guv’nor of them all because he was the first man to take some offcuts of chicken, skewer them onto a spike and grill them. When his grandson Donner was born, their restaurant went from strength to strength.

Then there was Socrates. I love him because he invented irony and used it to such a great extent that no-one ever knew what the fuck he was actually trying to say. Though all agreed, he was the ‘cleverest man in Athens’. Well they didn’t know my Uber driver, he was amazingly clever, getting us here in 20 minutes without getting lost more than twice.

So that’s why I’m here. To reconnect with the greatest society ever to exist. Until the Romans invaded, found everyone in Greece contemplating their navels and enslaved them so they could drink all the wine, eat all the animals, shag all the men, women and any animals left over, and take over the world.

I’ve just come out of the sea. It was just like the one in Kea. Almost like they were joined. Warm, clear, clean and fab. But more people here. Predominantly English ones. Not a Greek philosopher in sight. Just a few geezers with tattoos trying to work out how to make Mel a coffee frappe just like she wants it. (Spoiler: she’s FUSSY).

Happy end of holidays

A xxxx