Hitler invented the Volkswagen in 1937. The original ones had little moustaches under the grill and a greasy fringe hanging over the windscreen. He was a vain man. But the car was the Volks Wagen. The car for the people. As long, obviously, as those people were white, Christian, blond, blue-eyed and Ayran in descent. Naziism was fair like that.

The rest is history. Well, either history or boring, so we’ll skip the middle bit when VW became the almost most popular cars in the world (only Toyota supply more), became the must steal badge for obnoxious little rapper shits and, with the Golf, had/have a car that the world not only wanted to own and drive but that every other vehicle in its class really aspired to be. It was the mark of quality, solidity and safety.

And upon that came VW’s inevitable reputation for goodness, honesty and… and trust.

Oh dear.

VW is a group now. It owns Audi, Lamborghini, Seat. And is in turn owned by Porsche. The Porsche group. Whereby, apparently, lies the problem. The Porsche family don’t like outsiders running their company. They like to keep it in the family. Right across the group. And they don’t like investment in new technology, apparently. Odd in the car world, but that’s what it is.

So rather than modify their massively popular Diesel engine so that it might produce less emissions AND maintain healthy fuel economy, they devised a better way. More ‘pragmatic’ than going to all the bother of building a new motor.

They devised a system that ‘knew’ when the car was being tested for emissions. Which is easy because emissions testing is always done on a rolling wheel. So in that situation all these wonderful shit-control systems kick in and reduce pollutants to very little. Back on the road and the ‘really green and economical’ Golf turns into a 70-year old oil tanker, emission-wise, churning out crap into the very air we breathe. Because to keep the car running with low exhaust emissions would increase the fuel consumption.

Its ok though, because the CEO of the VW group has said that he’s really really sorry. Not just that he got caught, obviously, but for deceiving the car-buying public and lying to them. And he said it in German. Sorry, we fucked up, he said. But only 11 million times. (The number of cars mis-sold, worldwide.)

Hitler would be proud of them.

Happy Yom Kippur

A xxxx