Ok, I’m not going to ‘review’ the Peppa Pig show. I just can’t. Not that it wasn’t a pleasant and totally fucking inane hour, not that it wasn’t cleverly done, not that it didn’t entertain the kids a bit, but…

The odd thing was, Lila was fairly indifferent to it too. She liked it but wasn’t jumping up and down, wasn’t singing along (even at that age some people bristle at the very concept of ‘audience participation’) but was engaged and entertained. Ok, as much with what the other kids were eating as events on stage, but I’m glad we went.

Whereas the tube journey, she loved. Waving at the driver, finding seats, talking loudly about the people sitting nearby, that held her total fascination. And at every station; “is this Peppa Pig??” No, this is Warren Street. “Who Warren?” Ahhhh, Sir Neville Warren was the inventor of the tie-pin in 1724, he lived the life of…

You can always impress kids.

And the day was wonderful. And so different from traveling with Mel. Even though both are about the same size. And both talk a lot. But with Mel you never have to ask if ‘you need a wee?’ Never. She tells me. Frequently and regularly. Whereas Lila you have to ask. A hundred times an hour. And the answer is always ‘no’. Until that moment when she says ‘No…’ followed by ‘I need a wee!’ three seconds later.

But children aren’t impatient. They’re just honest. As adults you learn to put up with slow service in the world as just ‘the way it works’. Kids don’t have that experience. So we ordered lunch in Prezzo, (£3.95 for a three course kids’ menu plus a drink, I mean???). 5 minutes later, after she’d coloured in the kids’ menu nicely. Well, Lila-ly, ‘where my food?’ It’s coming; they’re very busy. ‘Where my lunch?’ Coming darling. ‘Where’s dinner?’ On its way. ‘Where food?’ At which point I collared a server and asked politely ‘WHERE’S MY FUCKING LUNCH????’

‘Where da train?’ Coming. ‘Where da train?’

Mel went to Manchester for the day to see her old dad. So Lila and I had to come home and trash the place all by ourselves. A task we managed with our usual aplomb.

Never mind Peppa Pig’s best day ever, as it was entitled, it was our best day ever. With or without Peppa.

Happy Friday

A xxxx