Ok, we’re in a bit of trouble. We played Slovakia. Top player: Martin Skrtel, the tattooed Liverpool blood-sucking zombie. They have one other ‘star’ but as he wears a Mohican hair-do we can discount him. The game went pretty much according to plan, with England bossing it totally. But the plan was, probably, that goals would have been involved in the 87% possession, 29 attempts on goal and all other statistical nonsense that, in hindsight, are totally irrelevant. Because we didn’t win. Couldn’t score. The Slovaks proved to be somewhat, as its known, ‘resilient’. Otherwise known as being a bunch of neo-nazi (probably) bus-parkers.

But that’s a tactic. A very good one, as it proved on the night. Their goalie was fantastic, their defenders throwing themselves in front of everything. The nearest miss we had (and there were many) was that Skrtel didn’t actually strain his groin when lunging for a block, as it appeared, but sadly recovered to finish the match.

Eric Dier was magnificent and majestic and, in search of alliterative inspiration, mutherfuckingly brilliant. Nathaniel Clyne was superb on the right, by miles our biggest threat. But the others? Tossers, the lot of them. Barn door, 3 yards, you do the rest.

So now we wait til Wednesday when the outcome will be realised. Who we play in the ’round of 16′. And as all four teams can qualify, we have no idea. Could be Portugal, could be Iceland, even Hungary or Austria. We’ll play a better team, position-wise than Wales. Because they actually won our group. Therefore get an easier tie. That’s life in the Euro.

But Wales deserve it. They played 3 shit teams and beat 2 of them. Job done. And faced with a threatless (the team, certainly not the fans) Russia last night, they breezed past them 3-0. I should’a watched that one. And claimed Welshness on the grounds that my bridge teacher is Welsh, thus by association…

Enough football. No really, its enough. Because the referendum is on Thursday. And if nothing else (and there really is nothing else of a positive nature) this has now proven, if there was any doubt, about the sheer ridiculousness of statistical analysis. As yesterday the ‘Remains’ claimed that if we leave Europe it will cost us the loss of 35,000 jobs. And the ‘Leavers’ claimed that if we leave Europe we will benefit by 35,000 additional jobs. Doubtless both sides could produce ‘proof’ from economic ‘facts’ and ‘data’ to prove their case.

And they are therefore, all tossers. Oh, and some of them must be liars.

Happy Tuesday

A xxxx