Why do I read the Mail on Sunday? Why does anyone? Its rubbish. Total fucking rubbish. Yet on the basis of ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer’ I feel dutybound to see what the reactionary Right is thinking, doing, saying. And nothing is more reactionary than this piece of trash. I’ve heard of ‘gonzo journalism’, this is the introduction of ‘bollox journalism’. Its where you take something that isn’t a story, misrepresent it in a stupid, facile and misleading way, and create a high horse big enough to fall off.

This picture is of a royal Prince executing his son. Ok, ha-ha, very funny. Yet that, basically, is what those morally indignant tossers at the Mail expect us to believe. A PRINCE AIMING A GUN RIGHT NEAR HIS SON’S HEAD!!!!!! DON’T SHOOT EDWARD, YOUR CHILD IS RIGHT THERE!!!!

Have you ever seen those pictures taken on the salt flats. Where you put a bottle on the ground, walk 200 metres away whilst your mate stays near the bottle and takes a photo which, due to the flatness of the ground and the relative distance, looks like you’re in the bottle. Everyone does it where the land has no undulations to give away the distance. Could be sand. Could be anything really flat. And its a trick of perspective. A great word. The Mail on Sunday always lacks perspective, but not usually in such a literal sense as today. Edward is obviously in front of his son and in the foreground too. DOES THE BOY LOOK WORRIED? Even through his blurred out face his body language is completely relaxed and at ease. Maybe they’re implying that this son of a Prince is too dim to realise his life is in peril? Which, being Edward’s son, he probably isn’t. Not the brightest of the royals, that little ‘stream’. And that’s a bit like not being the most considerate suicide bomber.

But country folk know about guns. They know how to hunt, shoot and kill. That’s all they know. And if Wellington Boots and a flat cap don’t qualify you as ‘country’ then I really don’t know what does.

So leave Edward alone. He has enough problems of his own. Real problems that come from being the forth child of a reigning monarch with nothing much to do and too much time in which to not do it. If he wants to shoot children, we should let him.

I’m off to anger management.

Happy fucking Sunday

A xxxx

Its always tense before Spurs play.