Has anyone else noticed any pink men buried waist-deep in their gardens? I just wondered. The good news is he doesn’t eat very much, nor make a lot of noise. The not such great news is he doesn’t actually do anything. Breathe. Speak. Dance. Well, dancing’s hard with no legs, or legs buried under the soil, but nothing. At least he’s a Spurs fan.

And speaking of useless, plastic men who do nothing; Ed Miliband was in Washington yesterday. To ‘meet the president’. Wow, lucky Obama. But the Pres is a very very busy man. A man who’s schedule is so tight, so choreographed with military precision (mainly because the military kind’a follow him round everywhere), that he was too busy to give our esteemed leader of the opposition and back-stabbing brother-killer a proper ‘meeting’. Obama had to make a speech about Malaysian Airlines jets. Then visit a school, empty the dishwasher, present a medal to a wounded soldier, get his car washed, host a lunch for 7 Third World leaders, take the rubbish out, iron his shirts, speak to Putin, get some milk from Tescos (Michelle had bloody run out… AGAIN!) and head up an armament meeting with the chiefs of staff.

So Miliband was not exactly a priority. Also, and quite correctly, Obama is very sensitive about having an influence on elections elsewhere, and in granting Ed a ‘meeting’ would give the Labour leader a credibility that he quite frankly neither warrants or deserves. What he deserves is flogging publicly. But to qualify for The Full Obama would be to bestow upon Ed a badge of honour, influence and importance not normally accorded to third rate Wallace & Grommit impersonators.

Thus Ed was granted a meeting with some underling at the White House, for half an hour. At the very end of which, the President himself, the great man, the most important person in the universe, kind of popped his head round the door for a minute to say ‘hello Ed, can you leave now’, or something like that. The call it a ‘brush by’, though its more a brush off really. Or a fly-by. And is the sort of thing reserved for the chronically inconsequential. And apparently Ed wasted none of his allotted 45 seconds and told the Prez how he sees Britain’s role right at the heart of Europe. Oh, what about the ‘special relationship’ then? What about our love and alliance with America?? So although he stopped short of telling Obama that: ‘so American can just fuck right off’, you can’t help but wonder.

Ed Miliband. Statesman. Leader. Nob. We should have sent he Pink Man instead.

And what I’d really like to know is why the blowing up of a civilian airline, killing over 200 innocent civilians, is not being treated as it should be, like an act of terrorist murder. Because it seems to be some kind of diplomatic incident. Oh, sorry, we shot down the wrong plane, never mind, honest mistake. NO!!!!! Its terrible. Its awful. Its no different from 9/11 but on a smaller scale. Its not a ‘war crime’, nor in any way defensible or excusable. Fucking terrorism. Banning the import of Russian cabbage is not the same as finding out who was responsible and hanging them from the nearest oak tree.

Happy tuesday

A xxxx