So what’s happening in the world of UK politics? Its sooooo exciting. Because nothing is happening. We’re sort of ‘in limbo’, just waiting for the current government to go, preferably before the chancellor’s next budget because it will make me poorer. No idea what she’s going to do (I don’t think she has much idea either) but it will hurt. Because she’s still banging on about ‘black holes’, but not in a ‘physics’ kind’a way. Its getting bigger, by the day, started by the rotten Tory government, and HIDDEN!!!, because the incoming government used the TGWU instead of KPMG to calculate the nation’s finances. Then she increased taxes to virtually guarantee that the ‘economic growth’ she can’t stop talking about, hasn’t happened and is unlikely to happen under this bunch of leaders. So nasty Rachel is personally coming to MY house to demand I pay the 30 billion quid; that being the approximate, average, almost mythical, size of that ‘hole’. Fair enough.

I can’t wait for them to go.

But who to replace them with?

The Tories are currently engaged in Conference, in Manchester. Apparently with a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door because attendances have been awful. When Mel Stride made his fabulous shadow-chancellory speech on Monday, there were 17 people there. Including his mum and his dog. As he spoke about ‘scrapping business rates’. Wow! That would be fantastic for us City rates-payers burdened with that massively punitive ‘tax’. And I’m sure the Corporation of London would survive just fine with… errrr… like… no income whatsoever. But a great plan, nonetheless, and one I heartily approve of. His ‘leader’ speaks today. Even though 47% of the population (I may have used a degree of flexibility with that) don’t know her name. So ‘Whassername’ Badenoch will address Conference and tell us all her plans for…

It doesn’t matter. The election is sadly a long way off and the Tories now have only one party member in the entire nation under the age of 54. His name is Rupert Hedgehog-Hayes and he lives Worcestershire. With his mummy and daddy, even though he’s 42 years old and only slightly ‘learning impaired’.

The Liberal Democrats may or may not still be a political party but no-one knows for sure, nor gives a damn. I think their best course of action would be to cut Ed Davey’s bungee cord next time he’s up Big Ben, or Mount Snowdon, with his canoe.

Which leaves Reform UK. The problem? The solution???

All the major parties are running scared of Reform. We were blessed with Brexit because David Cameron was running scared of Nigel Farage last time he headed up a party. And now we’re in ‘Brexit-re-do’, part 2: The Immigrants!!! Nigel Farage, for what anyone says to the contrary, wants to ‘re-whiten’ Britain. He’s very clever and, obviously, like Jeremy Corbyn, like Tommy Robinson, like Robert Jenrick, like Adolph Hitler, claims to have ‘no prejudice at all’. So he plants the images. Shows the pictures of boat-people arriving. And, let’s face it, no-one likes a group of complete unknowns arriving uninvited to our shores. Are they rapists? Terrorists?? Do they have ‘cultural issues’, possibly about women? OUR women?? Farage is the ultimate populist. He can ‘push buttons’ like no-one before. But could we really trust him with running the country?? I’m not sure I could.

So, all things considered, as a glorious and proud nation: we’re fucked.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx