I really don’t want to talk about football. Even though I missed it last weekend, it can be so horrible as to be totally depressing. I’m looking forward to next season now. This one’s finished.

But I had a row the other day. At the Library. Where I take Lila for her nursery rhyme half hour. We love it there. All the carers get to sing all the nursery rhymes, with hand movements and actions, whilst Lila and the other kids get to run around throwing soft toys, oblivious to the grown-ups best efforts. And, as I mentioned the other week, the shit kicked off with the ‘wheels on the bus’, that most insidious, hateful, nasty, mysoginistic and evil of child-indoctrinating stereotyping.

So as we all sang ‘the mummies on the bus go ‘chatter, chatter, chatter’…’ one woman, a ‘newby’, which I can say as a veteran of 3 months nursery rhyme tyme, sang instead, rather loudly, and much more rather, smugly, ‘the DADDIES on the bus go ‘chatter…”. Oh my. Dissent in the ranks. A fenemissed. Which is like a feminist but one who TOTALLY MISSES THE FUCKING POINT.

Firstly I wanna know when ‘chattering’ became some term of abuse. Why is it insulting to ‘chatter’? The answer, of course, is that it isn’t. Its nothing. Another woman joined in. At which point the lovely lady who runs the show was put off and stopped. So I asked what was the problem. Which I learned was that chattering wasn’t uniquely feminine. Neither is farting, I didn’t say, but held back. The word, not the fart. “But all you’re doing is taking a completely innocent children’s entertainment and politicising it”. So the stupid woman started singing ‘the men and women on the bus go ‘chatter…” NOOOOOOO!!!! I exclaimed. ‘How terribly, horrendously, tragically binary is that??’ That shut the stupidly over-sensitive, looking-for-a-fight feminazi up totally as she had to reluctantly agree with my totally ironic and totally stupid comment because otherwise, having embarked upon the ruinously obsessive road to political correctness hell, there is no turning back.

The next day I read how Carrie Symonds has been vilified by the press in the next great act of misogyny. One possibly more serious even than the wheels on the bus debacle. Carrie’s the ‘researcher’ who ‘allegedly’ had a ‘close relationship’ with Boris Johnson. The fenemissed who wrote the article was pissed off by the lack of substance given to Carrie’s career in all the articles and how they should have applauded her 10 years of indeed great success in politics, never an easy place for a woman to thrive and succeed. Why didn’t they write about that? Her good work, her achievements?? Double standards, she proclaimed. If she’d been a man they’d have extolled her.

And if she’d been a man (or indeed, to continue the pc theme, ‘anything in between’) it would have been a different story for sure. But the story wasn’t about the career of the alleged affairee. It was about Boris the fat old ugly fuck shagging a young blonde. If she’d been a he it would have been almost the same but just another sordid arrow in Boris’s debauched quiver. (There’s a metaphor there if only I was clever enough to use it). The professional achievements required to share a bed with Boris (yeuch) aren’t very high, and certainly not relevant.

Feminism is still my hobby and devoted cause. That’s why I get so pissed off when people take it too far. At which point it becomes stupid and self-destructive.

Happy Sunday

A xxxx