Oh my, that ‘poor’ woman, Princess Haya of Jordan, aka Sheikhess Haya of Dubai. A terrible tale of money (ever such a lot), of love (not quite so much), of divorce (quite a big bit) and of corruption and power, the twin horns of the devil.

Because Sheikh Mohammed is the absolute ruler of Dubai, he gets to have as many wives as he wants. Haya was his 6th. And presumably the youngest, certainly the best looking and definitely the most equestrian of them all.

6 wives. Like Henry the VIIIth. Except unlike Henry, Mo can have them all together, without all that messy beheading. Mo does that stuff for fun. So every few years Mo just kind’a ‘adds to his collection’ of wives, has a few more children. It’s like getting a new car every year but keeping all the old ones in the garage. For emergencies.

The kids grow up, run away, Mo sends hit squads round the world to round ‘em up, wheel ‘em in and lock ‘em up. Possibly murder them but that is just an allegation and Sheikha Latifa is live and well… somewhere. He has 16 children. Ok, possibly just 15. Ahhhh, its good to be king.

So, unhappy with her lot, presumably a bit depressed at sharing her husband with 5 others, vying for attention, being ignored, maybe sitting on the bench in their 5-a-side matches, or worse still, playing goalie, she seeks affection elsewhere. One of her (many) bodyguards. Who, and I’m speculating here, are put there by Mo not merely to protect his wives from baddies and kidnappers, but to ‘guard their bodies’ for his exclusive use. So a bit of irony in Dubai as Princess Horsey starts riding the hired help. Who then blackmails her for 7 million quid otherwise he’ll tell the Sheikh. Who, you can sort of imagine, won’t be too thrilled. Heads would, quite literally, roll.

Haya runs off, with the kids, to England. For safety and security. And a divorce. All super-rich want to divorce here, our courts give the best settlements. But Mo, in the interests of fairness and honesty and openness, has her phone hacked and that of her lawyer. Who, according to his team of spies, has double pepperoni on her pizza and couldn’t get an appointment with her hairdresser last Tuesday.

The courts awarded this lowly ‘6th wife’ a mere £554million. Not ‘a year’, but just a one-off payment. I wonder what higher ranking wives might get? Included in that (quite ridiculous) sum was funds for her ‘security’. Basically, he has to pay her so she can hire people to protect her from him.

This story has it all. Except goals. She must be a better goalie than she lets on.

Happy Wednesday

A xxxx