Mel and I sponsor a local cultural event: the Proms at St. Judes. We do every year. It’s a series of musical concerts; classical, jazz, some pop/rock, in all manner of styles, over a two week summer period at ‘our church’. The one we might go to if we: a. Were Christians, b. Went to any religious bollocks. Sorry, services. But it’s not about God. It’s about music. AND, they raise loads of money for two fantastic charities. And the concerts are great.

I think of this sponsorship as ‘culture-washing’, which all repressive regimes and money-launderers indulge in to try and appear like they’re really good people. It’s like North Korea sponsoring the summer exhibition at the Royal Academy. Similar to Saudi Arabia ‘sportswashing’ by buying Newcastle United to try and hide their appalling human rights issues and overseas murders. We all do it.

There’s lots of sponsors. And once a year, before the Proms, we’re invited to a little ‘soiree’. That’s what posh people call ‘a piss up’. Though no-one else gets pissed. And we sip wine, or gulp it, depending on how the time’s going, and eat rather nice nibbles, and we have our own little concert. Which last night was the ‘Juno Duo’ (pictured).

The woman on the door told me ‘they’re Ukranian’. Yet when I chatted with Isabella, (on the right) before the show, she just sounded like a regular posh bird. I asked where she was from? Crimea? Kyiv? Any of those other bomb sites we see on the news every night? But she answered: Worcester. Is that part of Ukraine? Has Putin got his sights on Malvern now??? No, the other performer is from Ukraine; she’s a Brit. Oh.

And she is gorgeous.

Which immediately predisposes me to love whatever they do. Cos the Ukranian looked lovely too. And she played guitar. Classical. Genteel. Isabella sang. Gorgeous voice. Opera trained. But even that didn’t put me off. She was also pretty useful on the violin.

I looked on the program. They were playing ‘chamber music’. Ah. 16th Century. Where it possibly belonged. When Led Zeppelin had not yet been invented. Ok, they played some other stuff too, but at the first “…with a hay nonny-no”, I’m pretty much over the whole thing and its either more wine, the exit or, preferably, both.

You can take the boy out of the East End…

Happy Monday

A xxxx